Facebook is full of ranty posts these days – and this is one of rantiest we’ve see for a while.
Emily Bingham, from Michigan, USA, scoured the internet for a baby scan pic, which she popped on her Facebook page.
She then decided to address all those “nosy” (interested?) people who ask ‘baby’ questions – like ‘when’ and ‘if’ you’re plannng on having kids in, let’s say, no uncertain terms.
Here’s the post in full:
“Hey everyone!!! Now that I got your attention with this RANDOM ULTRASOUND PHOTO I grabbed from a Google image search, this is just a friendly P.S.A. that people’s reproductive and procreative plans and decisions are none of your business.
“NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS. Before you ask the young married couple that has been together for seemingly forever when they are finally gonna start a family … before you ask the parents of an only-child toddler when a Little Brother or Little Sister will be in the works … before you ask a single 30-something if/when s/he plans on having children because, you know, clock’s ticking … just stop. Please stop.
“You don’t know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues. You don’t know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn’t right. You don’t know who is on the fence about having kids or having more kids. You don’t know who has decided it’s not for them right now, or not for them ever.
“You don’t know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration. Sure, for some people those questions may not cause any fraught feelings — but I can tell you, from my own experiences and hearing about many friends’ experiences — it more than likely does.
“Bottom line: Whether you are a wanna-be grandparent or a well-intentioned friend or family member or a nosy neighbour, it’s absolutely none of your business. Ask someone what they’re excited about right now.
“Ask them what the best part of their day was. If a person wants to let you in on something as personal as their plans to have or not have children, they will tell you. If you’re curious, just sit back and wait and let them do so by their own choosing, if and when they are ready.”
Phew. No holding back there then…
One thing’s for sure – the post has definitely hit home with plenty of people – it’s been shared more than 80,000 times (yep!) and has generated lots of comments, too.
One person wrote: “Hallelujah!!!! Great post! Can’t agree more!!!!???”
And another totally agreed: “People asking me about my child bearing plans drives me up a tree. Be they my parents or PERFECT STRANGERS, because that happens all too often.”
We certainly get that it’s not a good idea to make assumptions about why a couple don’t have children at a certain age, or only have one child.
Just recently, Scottish National Party Leader Nicola Sturgeon opened up about how she had a miscarriage when she was deputy first prime minister. She said:
“There are many reasons why women don’t have children. Some of us simply don’t want to, some of us worry about the impact on our career… and sometimes, for whatever reason, having a baby just doesn’t happen – no matter how much we might want it to.”
Hmmm, definitely food for thought on this one.
What do you think?
Have you been asked in the past why you don’t have children, or when/if you’re going to have another? Do you think people should mind their own business? Or are they just making conversation?
Tell us in the comments below or over on Facebook
Photo: Emily Bingham on Facebook