The truth about how labour really starts – told by mums and midwives who know

With expert guidance from four midwives – plus real-life stories from mums in our community who’ve been there – we’ll take you through what those first signs of labour actually feel like, and how to spot when you’ve moved from the early latent stage into active labour.

The emotional signs of early labour

The lead-up to labour is as unique and individual as you and your babies. However, there are some common emotions experienced by mothers that you might want to look out for. These include:

Feeling quiet before labour

If you're known for your love of a good chinwag and suddenly you go a lot quieter, it could be a sign you're going into labour.

One of our mums, Louise, tells us she had a very quick labour with her daughter Lily, but that the day before she gave birth, she didn't have a lot to say:

"During the day though I was very quiet (according to my mum) and I felt OK, quite calm, a little back ache but that was all. I was not expecting to go to bed and wake up with a baby the next morning!"

Feeling chatty before labour

At the other end of the scale, you might suddenly find you can’t stop talking! Quite a few of our mums said they went into overdrive with the chatter when they went into labour.

Samantha reveals: "I got really tired, but when I went to bed I couldn't sleep, sat up all night chatting... I think everyone is different."

Feeling sleepy before labour

If you can get a bit of shut-eye in before the whirlwind of having a new baby – so much the better. For some women the urge to sleep is all-consuming just before labour begins. One of our mums Alison found she was able to get a really good rest, telling us:

"I had a lovely morning walking around the house (it was a home birth) and phoning friends – then had a wonderful sleep for an hour or so before I had a massive gush of waters in the study as I stood up at about 2.30pm."

It might feel weird going to bed to get some shut-eye when your next contraction might be round the corner, but the good news is that it’s safe to do so.

The not-so-good news: You might find nodding off a bit tricky as your contractions come and go as they please, as Lesley Gilchrist, Registered Midwife and co-founder of My Expert Midwife explains…

“For many women, the prodromal stage of labour can prove to be quite challenging as it can be tiring and disturb sleeping patterns.

“This can often lead to it becoming an emotional time, so having some coping strategies to employ will help you to deal with it.”

Do you have any hypnobirthing techniques prepared? Affirmation cards? Meditation or relaxation practices you enjoy? Now’s the time to employ them… and do what you need to do to make yourself feel as comfy as possible at home.

Feeling like you want to 'nest' before labour

This is one old wives' tale that actually has a lot of anecdotal evidence behind it. Getting the 'nesting' instinct before having a baby is quite common for soon-to-be mothers.

Sam told us: "I was like the devil possessed, having continuous hot flushes and spring-cleaning the house several times the week of my labour.”

Feeling the same as usual

Sometimes, it seems, going into labour doesn't actually make any difference to your mental / emotional state at all. And having no signs, even subtle ones can be completely normal too.

"I felt totally normal," Isabelle tells us. "Only a few hours before I went into labour I was crying to my partner that I had had no signs at all and was worried I'd end up having to be induced."

And Rachael had a similar experience: "I was absolutely fine. I was 38+2 and had no twinges so no reason to suspect I'd have any issues that night!" As it was, Isabelle's daughter came in the early hours of that day.

Feeling in denial before labour

Of course, the days up to your due date / waiting for labour can make you a bit anxious, especially if it's your first pregnancy.

Perhaps that's why, for some people, trying to forget it's actually about to happen is a pretty appealing option. Penny said:

"It is hard with your first baby to know if it's labour. My mum said all along that with my first I was in early labour with my back ache - but I think I was in denial."

The physical signs of early labour

In addition to a wave of emotions, like the ones described above, the sure-fire physical signs include:

• mild or strong, regular contractions
• the passing of mucus (known as a ‘show’)
• waters breaking

Mild, regular contractions

In late pregnancy you might be wondering why you’re experiencing labour-like contractions… but the birth itself doesn’t seem to be moving along.

Every labour is different – but it’s quite common for women to experience lots of contractions before their active labour really kicks in. It's known as ‘prodromal labour’ or the ‘latent phase’ of labour.

The latent phase is essentially the 1st part of 1st stage of labour, "during which cervix is softening, shortening, ‘ripening’ and dilating up to 3-4cm,” – explains Royal College of Midwives (RCM) Professional Policy Advisor Clare Livingstone.

“After you've dilated to 4cm, you’d be considered to be in active labour. Tightenings will often stop and start, irregularly, but can be painful and intense. It may continue on and off for several days.”

Some women experience prodromal labour because it's their body's way of preparing itself for active labour.

Your cervix is readying itself to dilate (eventually) all the way to 10cm, to allow you to give birth to your baby vaginally.

“Our cervix does some mightily clever stuff to enable you to give birth,” says retired midwife Anne Richley. “But amazing as it is, it can’t go from its normal state (think of a 2cm long tube with a dimple in it) to its established labour state of a thin stretchy 4cm hole in a matter of minutes.

“As well as your cervix opening, it has to move forward, become shorter, thinner and stretchier, in readiness to give birth.

"All this takes time, and this is what’s happening during your latent phase, often known as the longest part of labour.”

Not every mum-to-be will experience on and off contractions, but it is a pretty common way for the first signs of labour to show.

“My sign was getting contractions here and there for a week every couple of hours,” says mum Sarah. “Then all of a sudden after a week my waters broke.”

How to tell the difference between Braxton Hicks and latent phase contractions

Braxton Hicks and the latent phase are easy to muddle up, but they’re not the same thing. “Braxton Hicks are essentially practice contractions,” explains Clare.

“They're your body's way of practising for labour. Braxton Hicks contractions can cause a very tight, uncomfortable sensation for some women.

“Braxton Hicks can occur throughout pregnancy but are not usually felt until the 2nd or 3rd trimester. The latent phase of uncomplicated labour can be expected from 37-42 weeks.”

Braxton Hicks is usually ‘painless’, and feels more like a tightening, according to Clare. They’re typically not thought to be as painful as prodromal labour contractions.

Contractions during the latent phase are likely going to feel strong, like they’re getting stronger, pretty powerful and often painful.

For some, contractions may feel like next-level, extreme period pains. This is because your womb tightens, and then relaxes, every time it contracts.

“Some of the tightenings or contractions will last longer than others and two or three may come together, followed by a much longer gap,” says Lesley.

If you have any concerns about any sensations you’re experiencing during your pregnancy, you should check in with a medical professional, like your GP or midwife, ASAP.

What to do if you think you’re having prodromal labour contractions

You should always call your midwife if you are unsure or concerned about your contractions or your baby’s movement, Clare advises.

“Call your midwife or labour ward for advice. If your waters break, you have bleeding, there is reduced fetal movement, you are feeling unwell or are otherwise concerned, call the hospital and make your way in.”

Lesley agrees and thinks talking to your midwife is important – especially if you’re feeling unsure or concerned.

“Always remember that if you’re not coping or feeling overwhelmed, it’s much better to call your midwife and discuss how you are feeling. You will feel much better after a reassuring chat.”

How can you ease prodromal labour contractions?

Whatever you do please don’t stress or panic. What you’re experiencing is totally normal – and there’s a lot you can do to make yourself more comfortable.

These are Lesley’s top tips for easing contractions during the latent phase:

• “Have a warm, soothing bath or shower with your favourite bath soak, shower gel or essential oils diffusing
• Use a heat pack or hot water bottle on any sore or aching parts of your body (other than your baby bump)
• Build a nest with cushions, duvets and your favourite things around you that help you feel relaxed and calm
• Use a birthing ball to sit on to help open your pelvis or to lean over to if that is comfortable for you
• Start any hypnobirthing techniques or breathing exercises you’ve learnt in yoga classes
• Put on your hypnobirthing music or music you find relaxing and calming
• Try to do some activities to distract you such as walking, baking or meeting up with family and friends
• Make sure you rest. Even if this just means trying to nod off during longer gaps between irregular contractions
• Keep well hydrated and nibble on snacks frequently. Your body is working hard towards active labour and needs fuelling well to do this.”

“The best advice during labour, including prodromal labour, is to try to switch off your thinking brain,” she adds.

“Don’t think into to the future, don’t over-think your current situation, trust your body to do the work and just take one hour at a time.”

The passing of mucus (the ‘show’)

When you lose your mucus plug, also known as having a 'show' (or a 'bloody show' – because it's sometimes streaked with a little blood), you may see some jelly-like discharge in your knickers. Or if you've been having a wee when it happens, you'll see it in the toilet or on the loo paper when you wipe.

It doesn't necessarily mean you're about to go into active labour: your baby's birth could still be days, or even weeks, away.

“With my first two babies I lost my mucus plug the day before I gave birth,” says mum Jennifer Ann. “But with my third there were no signs until the contractions started.”

The mucus plug is mainly clear but maybe with some cream, yellow or pink-coloured elements, and can also sometimes be tinged with small streaks of brown or red blood.

It'll also have a thick, gel-like consistency and it won't come apart easily. Mums in our MadeForMums Community have variously described it as stringy, slimy, jelly, like egg white – and even like snot!

The amount of mucus that comes out can vary a lot. That's because you can lose your plug all in one go or in stages.

If you lose it in stages, you could just see lots of little 'globs' over a period of time.

Or you could maybe find you just have a couple of shows, of differing sizes.

Like other substances that come out of the vaginal canal, there can be a mild smell, says independent midwife Melody Weig.

"People have different ideas of what smells are," she adds. "So I'm wary of using too much description. I don't want people to worry it theirs doesn’t smell a particular way.”

What exactly is the mucus plug?

"The mucus plug seals and protects your cervix during pregnancy," says Melody. "It’s a layer of cells produced by your cervix that help prevent bacteria from entering your uterus (womb)."

Because it's a collection of cells that your body creates, it has no defined sizes (we all make different ones!). And, like any other mucus in the body (the stuff in your nose, for example), it can form, come away, and then reform.

And when it comes away, it can come away whole or partially.

When will you lose your mucus plug?

It’s something that usually happens in the later stages of your 3rd trimester but it's impossible to put a more specific timeframe on it.

Some women will have a show at 37 weeks, or even earlier; others may not lose their mucus plug until they're in active labour and actually pushing out their baby.

And just because you had a show at a particular week in your 1st pregnancy, it's doesn't mean it'll happen again at the same week in your next pregnancy – as MadeForMums Community member Aimee can testify:

"With my 1st daughter, I lost my plug about 10 hours before she was born, and I'd been having contractions for most of the night before hand. This time however, I am 30 weeks today and I lost some of my plug last Friday and lost a bit more on Sunday!"

Your waters breaking

The bag of waters, or amniotic sac, that surrounds your baby can break at any time during labour and sometimes even before. But it’s more likely to happen during labour, probably at the peak of a contraction. Think of it like a big balloon full of water that stretches and relaxes – eventually it’ll go pop!

Research shows that waters breaking by themselves tends to happen in only around 10% to 15% of pregnancies - you're much more likely to have them broken for you once you're in hospital.

However, for many mums in our community their waters breaking was the first major sign of being in active labour:

“My waters broke, and I gave birth 40 hours later,” says Abbie Ellen and “My waters started leaking in the middle of the night and I woke up thinking I’d wet myself,” says Olivia Arnold. “I was sitting on my pregnancy ball trying get comfy when my waters went and baby arrived 8 hours later,” says Jodie Leigh.

If your waters break, you’ll probably go into labour within 24hours. If this doesn’t happen, your midwife will recommend that your labour be induced, to reduce the risk of infection to your baby. Ultimately, this is your choice though and you may prefer to wait a little bit longer to see if labour starts on its own.

Occasionally, the waters don’t break and the baby is born in the bag (known as ‘in the caul’) which is actually supposed to be lucky.

How will I know when I’m in active labour?

At some point during the latent stage of labour you will have dilated enough to be considered in active labour (4cm+) and be in a position to give birth.

But how do you know when that time has come if you’re at home and no one’s around to measure your cervix?

If the answers to these questions below are all ‘yes’, it’s likely you’re still in the latent phase:

• Do a couple of paracetamol or a hot bath ease my discomfort/distractions?
• Are my contractions or back pain still stopping and starting, rather than becoming regular, getting closer together and more and more intense?
• Can I still talk or think straight during the pains and contractions?
• Is the contraction pain eased by changing the position I’m sitting in?
• Am I still wondering, “Am I really in labour?” (You won't need to wonder when you are!)

Any concerns, as always, make sure you get on the phone to your midwife ASAP. If you think you are in active labour, make your way to the labour ward, or follow the advice of your medical professional.

How real mums knew they were in active labour

“I called my midwife and asked if she would come and see me as I’d been contracting all night but it was still bearable,” says Nicola. “When she examined me and said my cervix was only 2cm dilated I felt disheartened, but she explained that my body had already done a massive amount of work as my cervix was thin and soft.

“I kept going for another few hours by which time the contractions were more regular and I knew then without any doubt that I was in labour. When I got to the labour ward I was 5cm dilated and Jess was born just six hours later.”

If you’re not in active labour and the labour ward is very busy, remember you might get sent home again and that can be stressful and make the latent stage go on for longer.

"During my first pregnancy I went to the labour ward four times before I was allowed to stay,” says Anna. “I felt so embarrassed being sent home. Second time round I was determined not to turn up until my contractions were so strong that I couldn’t speak through them.

"Sure enough, when I got to the ward I was in established labour and Harry was born in the birthing pool 3 hours later.”