How to help your child build stronger social skills on and offline in a digital world

So, while social media and smartphones can be a positive thing — helping kids stay in touch, build friendships, and even boost empathy — it can also mean they miss out on face-to-face interactions that really help social skills grow.

The truth is that kids need both. Offline friendships give them the chance to practise reading body language, navigating group dynamics, and developing confidence in face-to-face settings. Online connections let them share jokes, support each other and keep up the kind of ongoing chatter that cements friendships.

The challenge for parents is to help children strike a balance, while building the skills they need to feel comfortable in both worlds. That might mean suggesting new activities, creating device-free moments at home, or simply helping them reflect on what makes conversations flow. With the right support, children can become socially confident, whether they’re chatting across the dinner table or over a headset.

From volunteering and extracurriculars to simple dinner-table chats, here are practical ways to help your child thrive socially, whatever their personality type.

Set clear rules about when they are allowed to use screens — and enforce them

Having set times where children aren’t allowed on screens makes them much more likely to engage in the world around them, whether that means talking to their siblings or parents, or relieving their boredom with imaginative play

Some useful rules suggested by the UK’s chief medical officers are:

• No screens at meal times or at gatherings
• No screens in bedrooms
• Taking breaks every two hours

View technology as something to expand on

Since digital skills are key for modern life, aim for balance between online and offline socialising.

Instead of cutting down online time, add offline opportunities to socialise to your child’s life. Suggest park meet-ups, camping trips, or a simple movie night with friends.

As connections and enjoyment of offline life grow, many kids naturally balance out their screen use, preferring to spend time with people in real life.

Plus, banning devices outright could cause tension — if your child is used to spending a lot of time on screens, try slowly reducing their screen time so it isn’t a massive shock to them.

You could even encourage children to talk about what they do when they are on screens, to bridge the gap and show that online and offline aren’t two separate worlds, while helping them to develop conversation skills.

Give them opportunities to build social skills in their daily life

Social skills don’t just develop in structured settings. Simple daily rituals, like sitting down for a device-free lunch or chatting about each person’s day, help kids practise listening and taking turns. Role-play games, reflection exercises (“what made that conversation fun?”), or even family brainstorming about tricky social scenarios that you may have seen on TV programmes can make these lessons stick.

If children are given the option to spend time on screens, the chances are that they will — the dopamine hits of social media and online games are hard to resist for adults, let alone children.

So, build opportunities to see friends and family without screens into your child’s life, and opportunities to interact with new people. For example, not using screens when at a restaurant, and encouraging children to talk to wait staff.

Host real-life gatherings

Sometimes all it takes is a nudge for children to want to socialise in-person. Hosting a hangout — whether that’s a casual after-school playdate or a big trip to a theme park— creates opportunities for spontaneous conversations that don’t happen in a group chat.

Offer to host after-school hangouts or take your child and some friends to the cinema or the park. Giving kids the space (and snacks) to spend time together offline can work wonders.

If your child is shy, start with one friend that they know best to ease them in.

Use their online activities as a jumping off point

If your child’s social circle come from their gaming world, begin there. Invite their friends over for an in-person gaming session — it’s still screen time, but with all the face-to-face chatter and laughs that come with it.

Or, if your child likes driving games, try taking them out to a go-karting venue, or to an arcade with racing games, where they can compete with friends and leave the house.

Similarly, if they are really into their computers, have them try a coding class, or if they are into Minecraft, have them try some ‘mining’ in the garden. Or if they like watching fashion videos, have them take a sewing class or try styling their own wardrobe.

Extracurriculars and volunteering

Shared interests are friendship gold. Whether it’s drama, coding, choir, or a science club, extracurriculars give kids ready-made conversation starters and chances to connect with people outside of their schools and families. Plus, you’ll be hard pressed to find clubs that allow kids to be on their phones for the whole session.

You can also combine this with a bit of altruism by suggesting some volunteering. Helping out at a community garden, food bank or animal shelter can boost confidence and build bonds. Look for volunteering opportunities designed for young people, so they’re surrounded by peers.

Sports

Children can’t be on screens if they are playing a match or running a race! And doing sports helps them get active and reduce the time they spend sedentary — which is one of the biggest risks that comes with a lot of screen time.

Not every child wants to compete for trophies, so try alternative sports like rock climbing, roller derby, and parkour as fun, active ways to build teamwork and confidence without the pressure of traditional team sports.

Don’t put pressure on them

Not every child is destined to be the life of the party, and that’s fine. What matters most is progress: a quiet child agreeing to join a club, or an anxious tween starting to initiate plans with a friend. Small steps build confidence over time, without forcing them into a role that doesn’t feel authentic.

Try doing shared screen time activities

If you simply cannot get your child off a screen, try using it together so that they are engaging with the offline world at the same time.

For example, try doing a home movie nights or playing a videogame together, or setting up a leaderboard for a game that you both play.

Model and praise positive social behaviour

Children will emulate what they see their parents and guardians doing, so model positive on/offline balance by not spending all your time on screens, too. You can even kill two birds with one stone by inviting your friends with similarly aged children over, creating opportunities for connection for everyone in the family.

And everyone loves to be praised, so notice and acknowledge when your child shares, cooperates, or shows kindness to others, both in person and online to encourage them to repeat these behaviours.

Your child doesn’t need to give up online friendships to grow offline ones. By gently adding opportunities, modelling good social habits, and keeping expectations realistic, you’ll help them develop the skills that make friendships rewarding on screen and in real life.