7 smart steps for giving your child their first device (without the screen-time stress)
From setting rules to spotting red flags—here’s how to hand over that shiny new gadget with confidence.
So, you’re giving your child their first device. Whether it’s a smartphone, tablet, or games console, that big handover moment comes with excitement and nerves. Will they use it wisely? Will you spend half your life arguing about screen time?
This guide, based on the Family Online Safety Institute’s New Device Checklist, will walk you through seven smart steps to make sure the gift of a gadget doesn’t turn into a digital disaster. Stephen Balkam, CEO and founder of the Family Online Safety Institute, also provides some expertise.
1. Make sure that they are definitely ready.
Different children will be ready for devices at different ages — it’s more about their maturity and technological abilities. Ask yourself:
- How does my child use the devices/tech that they already have?
- Can they put tech down when it’s time for something else?
- Do they follow house rules with and without screens?
- Will they come to you if something online upsets them?
2. Brand-new or hand-me-down?
If it’s a second-hand device, always hit factory reset before your child touches it. Otherwise, they may stumble across old content, chats, or apps meant for adults.
3. Learn the device yourself
Even if it’s a gadget you already use, remember: your child’s experience will be different. Explore what their version can do, what’s new, and how kids are likely to use it.
4. Set up parental controls
Screen time, downloads, content filters — most devices let you customise these things. Take the time to set controls that match your child’s age and needs, and make sure to do this on multiple levels: on your internet network, on the device, and on individual apps and websites. Don’t forget to revisit parental controls and safety features as your child grows.
Check out our handy guide to the parental control options on some of the most popular platforms and devices for kids later in this issue.
Plus, FOSI has a guide on how to set up different devices with appropriate controls, available on their Family Smart Start website.
5. Agree on house rules
Before the big unboxing moment, sit down together and make the rules clear. Examples parents swear by:
- No devices in bedrooms
- Ask before downloading apps
- Family screen-free meals
- No devices until homework is done
6. Sign a safety pact
A written agreement turns rules into something kids feel ownership of, and you can discuss the reasons why you’re setting certain rules. Examples of things to agree on could be:
- “I agree not to use my device after 9pm.”
- “I agree to be kind and respectful online.”
“One of the biggest missteps we see is when parents hand over a new device without first setting clear expectations,” Stephen says.
“FOSI’s Family Online Safety Agreement is a template that helps parents and children sit down together to set rules and responsibilities. Starting the conversation early ensures everyone is on the same page from day one and helps prevent conflicts related to misaligned expectations later on.
7. Keep the conversation going
Regular chats about what children are seeing online can help you stay connected and remind your child they can always come to you if something feels off.
The job of keeping kids safe online isn’t done once their devices are set up — it needs to be a constant conversation.
“The most important step is to talk early and often with your kids about their online lives. Be curious, ask questions, and show genuine interest in what they’re doing whether that’s celebrating their latest Roblox creation or offering calm support through a negative experience like cyberbullying,” Stephen says.
“For any parent, FOSI recommends our 7 Steps to Good Digital Parenting as a good place to get started with taking steps to protect children online.”