The infamous Girls Big Night Out: at one point in our lives we couldn’t go more than a few weeks without getting together with the ladies in our life for a cosmo or four and a boogie, right? But once the babies start coming along, things become a bit trickier.
Finding a date when everyone can make it is one thing. Add to that the fact you might be breastfeeding, are most certainly surviving on about 3 hours sleep a night, and are just generally downright baby-knackered – and the GBNO can seem about as appealing as climbing Mount Everest in flip-flops.
Ah yes – here are just a few ways a night on the town changes once the baby comes along…
1. It’s been so long since you’ve been out you have no IDEA what to wear
You used to have 7 or 8 totally go-to outfits for a girls night out, but now you’re not quite sure what on earth you’re going to wear. You practically live in jogging bottoms and loose tees with a muslin constantly thrown over your shoulder, so the prospect of dressing up is a little bit daunting to say the least. And as for heels…what are they again?
2. You swap the tequila for a pint of soda and lime
Ah, the good old old days when you could stay in bed and nurse a hangover until noon if you fancied it are long gone. Now you know however much fun you have and however late you’re home you’ll still be woken by a hungry screaming baby at 6am.
So swapping the alcohol for a cool pint of water is really the only sensible option and, let’s face it, hangovers were never really that fun anyway…
3. The topic of conversation inevitably turns to babies
If you’re the only mum in the group you might well get bombarded with a host of questions from your curious mates about how it’s all going.
If there are a few mums among you you’ll probably be comparing notes on how much sleep you’re getting, how much help your other half gives you and how many nappies you go through a day.
Yep, the chats about celeb crushes, latest boyfriends and the last club you went to are truly a thing of the past.
And as much as you promised you wouldn’t – you’re SO showing everyone pics of the baby on your phone. Knew you would!
4. Your handbag contents ain’t what they used to be
Ah, remember the days when you’d go in search of your lippy in your bag and instead pull out an eyeliner, a blusher you’d forgotten you owned or a bit of paper with some random guy’s phone number on it?
Now you’re more likely to dig out and old wet wipe, spare dummy or half-eaten pack of mini rice cakes. Welcome to the glamorous world of mumhood.
5. You can’t stop checking your phone
You KNOW everything’s OK at home but you still can’t help checking your phone to see if you’ve had any missed calls or messages.
You resist the urge to ring home a couple of times but eventually give in only to find out your baby’s fast asleep and your partner’s watching Match of the Day and eating leftover chicken. You knew it would be fine, right?!
6. You actually say NO to the suggestion of a late-night karaoke bar
Much as you have Taylor Swifts’s Shake It Off down and have been waiting to debut your word-perfect rendition of Uptown Funk you just can’t quite face the idea of staying up another 3 hours listening to strangers singing bad versions of Whitney Houston songs.
Where once you had stamina, now you’re longing for the zzzzs.
7. You’re in bed by 10.30pm
You know these nights out are good for the soul and you’ve loved every minute, but getting up at 6am relentlessly (if not earlier) having had most likely a night of getting up to give feeds and change poopy nappies has most definitely taken its toll.
You’re already looking forward to the time your baby’s a teenager and stays in bed until 1pm every day so you can have a lie-in yourself.
Until then it’s bed at a sensible time for you…and at least three months till you’re next night out.