How to successfully co-parent this summer holidays
Co-parenting this summer? Here’s how to plan, communicate and keep children’s wellbeing at the heart of holidays.
The school summer break can be a mix of joy, exhaustion, and logistical miracles for any family. But for divorced or separated parents, those six long weeks often need even more forethought. From agreeing holiday dates to maintaining bedtime routines, the way you approach planning can make all the difference to how happy – and stress-free – your child’s summer turns out.
And with about another four weeks of Summer 2025 to go, and plenty of future school holidays on the horizon, it's never too late to get organised.
Sarah Jane Boon, partner in the family law team at Charles Russell Speechlys, has shared her advice for creating a summer holiday plan that works for everyone, with children’s needs firmly at the centre.
“The best sort of parenting plan is one which continues to evolve and adapt to shape the needs and wishes of a child as they grow older. The agreement for summer holidays one year may not be appropriate a year later, and so it is important to keep plans updated,” Sarah Jane says.
Create a clear, flexible plan you both agree on
“Ensure the dates for, and division of, the children’s school holidays are well-documented within a written plan,” says Sarah Jane. “While informal agreements can work, a well-drafted parenting plan provides clarity and serves as a reference point should misunderstandings arise.”
An effective plan should:
- Detail specific arrangements for the summer holidays so that everyone knows what they are doing and where they should be, lessening the likelihood of disappointments or arguments
- Set out when children will have time with each parent. This allows each parent to definitely get the parenting time they are entitled to and means that you can make plans for when you don’t have the kids, too.
- Include sufficient provision for how any disputes between the parents are to be resolved. This could be through mediation or consultation with a family lawyer, Sarah Jane suggests.
Avoid unilateral decisions
It’s tempting to make quick choices during the holidays, especially if you’re excited about a trip or a special summer activity. But skipping consultation can backfire.
“Amending a parenting plan requires mutual consent from both parents,” Sarah Jane says. “Conflict can occur when one co-parent makes unilateral decisions over the summer holidays without consulting the other.”
This could include taking children out of school early for holidays without agreement, or changing agreed routines – for example, much later bedtimes – without discussion.
These changes might feel minor in the moment, but they “can lead to tension in the co-parenting relationship and may potentially cause distress for the child,” Sarah Jane says.
“To avoid this, prioritising open and child-focused communication, early planning, and flexibility is key.”
Remember that your children’s wellbeing comes first
Even the sunniest summer full of fun plans can feel unsettling for a child moving between two homes. The key, according to Sarah Jane, is to keep checking in with them.
“Navigating the summer holidays post separation isn’t just challenging for parents, but children, too. Every child is different, and it is therefore important to encourage your child to share their feelings, whether they are positive or negative,” she says.
“Co-parents should strive to set aside personal differences and work collaboratively to focus on the priority for the summer holidays – creating fun and lasting memories for a child who feels supported and loved by both parents.”
Some children will adapt quickly, while others might need extra reassurance – or even professional support – if they’re finding the changes hard. This might mean:
- Making time for quiet chats so your child can talk about how they’re feeling
- Involving them in age-appropriate parts of the planning – like picking an activity
- Keeping some consistent routines across both homes so they feel secure
The aim is to create a summer your child will remember for all the right reasons: love, fun, and the reassurance that both their parents have their back.