How to cope when you’re struggling to get pregnant

There can be a lot of stress around trying to conceive if it's just not happening as quickly you'd hoped - and that can be hard to deal with. Here, our mums share their tips for dealing with fertility issues...

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If you and your partner have decided you want to start a family and are trying to conceive but find you’re struggling to get pregnant – you’re not alone.

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Mums on our forum have been sharing with each other the ups and downs and disappointment of discovering they haven’t conceived after each cycle, after Georgie450 revealed her situation:

“I’m 28 and have being TTC [trying to conceive] since October 2016. Just starting to have tests done which is already stressful and then find out that our best friends have got pregnant after their first month of trying.

“Obviously we are over the moon for them but I just can’t seem to help feeling upset that’s its still not happened for us!

“Anyone else in the same situation? How do you stay positive? x”

While it’s certainly a tough situation to go through, it’s worth keeping a few things in mind…

1. Conception doesn’t happen quickly for everyone

While it might seem as though everyone else around you is getting pregnant in a heartbeat, the stats show a different story.

While most younger couples (aged 19 to 26) will conceive after 1 year (92%) a further 6% of them will take 2 years and the other 2% will take longer.

For slightly older couples, aged between 35 and 39, 82% will conceive after one year. A further 8% will conceive after 2 years and the other 10% will take longer.

A year can seem like forever if you’re trying to get pregnant, and 2 years an eternity – but it’s worth remembering that it can still happen for you.

2. Focus on the good things going on in your life

It’s easy to get bogged down with the stuff that’s not going right – but every now and then it’s worth taking a moment to think of a few of the good things you have, to keep you positive.

MrsD90 says: “I find that you need to focus on what you do have:

“A great relationship, nieces and nephews, good friends, comfortable life etc and enjoy doing things with your other half that might be harder when you have a little one!

“Appreciate what you do have now because it will all be worth it (hopefully) in the end and then we’ll have even more to enjoy!”

3. It might just happen when you least expect it

We’ve probably all heard those stories about people who spent years trying to get pregnant and gave up, only to find they were expecting within weeks. It does happen.

Mum Susiegirlygirl tells us: “I am 39 and have a new partner and we had been TTC for 2 years and nothing.

“We had all fertility tests and  were told my partner’s sperm count was really low (less than 2 million) and poor motility.

“To top it off I have a Unicornate Uterus which no one picked up on with my first pregnancy. We were told ICSI IVF  was our only option due to my age, and partner’s count.

“We were due to look at clinics last week but I had to cancel because WE FELL PREGNANT!!!! NATURALLY XXX

“So despite all odds against us it’s happened.”

4. Remember, there ARE options out there

If there are medical reasons going on as to why you’re not conceiving – help is out there. Susiegirlygirl offers this reminder:

“I’m sure u can get medication called Clomid. They told me my egg reserve was getting lower due to my age.”

Susiegirlygirl is right – Clomid is a medication that helps women ovulate more regularly. This means it can help you predict your most fertile days and try and ensure you have sex on those days. Read more about Clomid.

There are plenty other fertility treatment options that could be explored, depending on your personal circumstance – including IUI, and IVF. Find out how IVF works.

5. There are lots of women in the same boat you can talk to

As well as talking to your partner and friends, you can share what you’re going through in places like online forums.

MadeForMums has its own really supportive community you can open up about how you’re feeling and what you’re going through to women who have often experienced exactly the same or very similar things.

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