Blogger Constance Hall begs new mums: ‘Socialise. Please. Above everything’

"You deserve a life despite becoming a mum"

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Here at MFM HQ, Constance Hall has become a bit of a – errr – constant (pardon the pun) in our news feed.

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The Australian mummy blogger is often sharing tidbits about her home life and parenting style.

Not so long ago she wrote about the benefits of embracing nakedness around your kids so they’d grow up body confident.

And she had parents a wee bit divided when she posted a pic of her and her partner having just had ‘parent sex’ on Facebook.

But her latest post – in which she talks about the importance of staying in touch with friends after you’ve had a baby – has hit home in a GOOD way with pretty much all the mums who commented on it (a whopping 6,400 of them).

Constance writes:

“To all of my Queens who have or are about to have a baby. I get a lot of messages from miserable Queens after having babies. 

“It’s not easy to be in a depressing situation without getting depression. So together I think we need to make parenthood less depressing.

“Having had 4 babies, 2 psychologists, 1 marriage counsellor, severe anxiety, 4 break ups and makes ups… I am in the position to offer this advice.

“Socialise. Please. Above cleaning, above cooking, above everything. 

“Because face to face contact is free therapy, a laugh and a coffee or walk saved me, even on days that I did not want to, I followed my psychologist’s advice and forced myself to. 

“Placing a new 24 hour job between 2 parents is going to cause friction, it just is. When we get stressed we blame each other. 

“But the working parent is able to walk out the door and distract themselves, kick goals at work, have a chat and just generally feel like a normal human with a purpose, where as the at-home parent is home is left to dwell on the argument and maximise everything that was said so by the time the worker comes home he is normal and wifey is a crazed lunatic who has packed her bags and is selling the house. 

“That’s not fair. It’s not fair that we get the word “depression” thrown at us when we don’t have the opportunity to heal in these four walls.

“You deserve a life despite becoming a mum. You have 2 huge responsibilities, keeping your baby safe and happy and taking care of your mental health. Everything else can wait.

“If anyone questions that explain that socialising is your mental health plan, we all need a mental plan, parenthood should come with one.

“Walk out that door and call a Queen, even if you barely know her. Talk openly, bitch about the dickhead you married, cry about your lack of sleep, laugh at the state of the house you just walked out of.

“Just do it. Stop cancelling on your friends, cancel everything else, not friends. You will feel healed. You might even love your partner more.

“Remember Queens, parenthoods most vital tool is your happiness.”

Constance was overwhelmed with responses from mums who totally got what she was saying. One said:

“You seem to post things at exactly the right time. This is just what I needed to read this morning.

It’s been 3 weeks since having my beautiful girl and feeling all of the above. Time to go find my queens and have coffee I think. Thank you Constance.”

Another wrote: “Absolutely the best thing I’ve read all day ? Queens need Queens at the best of times and even more so at the worst of times when you’re feeling exhausted.

“We are ALL in the same boat. Having a baby and raising children is a tough gig xx”

Fair do’s for putting this out there, Constance – we really hope it provides a bit of a pep talk for the mums out there who could really do with it ?

What do you think?

Did you make sure you did your best to get out and meet with friends after you had a baby?

Or was it something you intended to do but never quite had time for?

Tell us in the comments below or over on Facebook

Photograph: Constance Hall on Facebook

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