When it comes to speaking your mind on parenthood, no mums out there do it quite as loudly as blogger Constance Hall.
The mum-of-4 has made quite a name for herself, talking very openly on all sorts of topics around being a mum, from sharing a ‘parent sex’ photo of her and her partner, to begging mums to make sure they socialise with mates above everything else.
Now she’s taken to Facebook to talk about her ‘violent’ child, 2-year-old Rumi. As you’d expect, her post is full on, no-holds-barred and a little bit sweary…
“Sometimes we see violent kids cruising around, kicking other kids, a sneaky punch, a subtle trip over, or looking like an outright steroid driven raging wrestler.
“Be it that the majority of us aren’t inclined to hate on a kid, I also hear the concerned mums saying comments like ‘poor kid, obviously sees a lot of violence at home.’
“Maybe that makes us feel better, knowing that there is a reason for violence in a child, hopefully that will minimise the chances of us getting a violent one.
“Well…. I have a violent child. Rumi is a f***ing little monster. Today I turned my back for a split second and he had backed Snow into a corner and was kicking and hitting her with meth head force.
“I pulled him away and hugged Snow, Rumi went on to kick Arlo. He lashes out, it’s just who he is.
“And I can tell you one thing I know for sure, my house hold has a lot of shit things, it’s messy, it’s relaxed on rules, we argue, kids stay up late, last night BV was painting at 9.30pm… But one thing it is not is violent.
“My 3 other kids are gentle. Somehow I just got this gang member throw back.
“So please don’t jump to conclusions that a child’s behaviour is a reflection of a parents abilities to care for them. Some of us just got a weird one.
“And for anyone who thinks that they too may have a violent little turd here is what I have learnt.
“It’s our responsibility to keep violence away from all kids, but if you have one with a particular interest in it then you MUST give them the extreme opposite.
“Don’t ever punish with violence or condone it in anyway. Extra snuggles, extra kindness and extra kisses and with a bit of love you won’t have a psychopath on your hands.
Here at MFM HQ we’re pretty used to Constance’s no-messing tone – though we think she’s pretty harsh in some of the things she says about her little boy here.
‘Violent’ seems like rather a strong word to use for a 2-year-old who’s actually probably just a bit frustrated and lashing out because he can’t express himself fully in words yet.
On the other hand – judging by the almost 1,500 comments she’s received – we can also see that she’s given mums who do have an aggressive toddler a platform to open up about it and share their experiences in a safe place, with someone who’s totally non-judgemental and knows what they’re going through.
After reading Constance’s post, one mum wrote:
“I NEEDED to read this! Been struggling with my 10-year-old from the moment he was born, tried every parenting class, diets, medications it’s just who he is!
“And it’s not getting any easier, there are days I wanna give up, but I’m all he’s got, and all I can do is love him and keep trying. Sometimes it’s nice to know I’m not alone ?”
“I got a bit of a weird one too. He is forceful and dominant and the total opposite of his older brother. He stomps around our house with 3 year old alpha-male authority and smashes the lego house his big brother built for him with a toy hammer.
“Big brother gets upset because he’s 9 and is being bullied by a 3-year-old. It’s really tough.
“We don’t do violence but it’s just in him. But also, he’s really f***ing adorable often so I’m confident he’s well balanced enough. Thank you for this.”
There’s no doubt Constance’s latest post has really opened up the convo on what can be a really tricky topic – and we can only say well done for that ?
What do you think?
Do you struggle with an aggressive or violent child? Does Constance’s post help you feel you’re not alone? Tell us in the comments below or over on Facebook