31-year-old Jessica Cunningham’s about to become a mum-of-4.Yay ???
The former Apprentice star’s got a 6-year-old, 5-year-old and 3-year-old, and is due to have her 1st baby with boyfriend Alex in the next couple weeks.
And though the couple have chosen not to find out the new arrival’s sex, we do know one thing: this little one’s a rainbow baby ?
Jessica sadly miscarried in 2017 – and told MadeForMums the fear it would happen again did raise her anxiety levels during this pregnancy.
“When we found out we were pregnant with this one, it was only like a month or 5 weeks after [the miscarriage], so it was literally the next cycle,” she confessed.
“But I started experiencing the same signs we were having a miscarriage while on holiday, so I started bleeding, I had backache, cramps, and I felt like it was happening again. That was really sort of, ‘oh’.
“I felt fluttering really early on, consistently for a few days, and then I wouldn’t feel it, and I got panicky again.
“Even now almost at the end, I feel panicky if I don’t feel movement, like something’s happened. I have been a lot more anxious, honestly.”
We’re sure SO many women have noticed their anxiety levels rise during pregnancy after experiencing a loss ?
Though what made it all the more difficult to come to terms with was that her previous pregnancies had all been healthy – and that this was her 1st planned baby.
“It’s bizarre – with the 3 girls it was so normal, you don’t expect it’ll happen after 3 healthy pregnancies,” Jessica told MFM.
“With the other 3 girls, they weren’t planned, whereas this was the only planned one, so I’d never experienced anything like it.
“When we had the miscarriage, when we were going through it, in the back of your mind you’re thinking, ‘Maybe it’s not that, maybe it’s not that, maybe it’s just that implantation bleeding, maybe it’s this, maybe it’s that.’
“And then when you get the pregnancy test and it comes back not pregnant… but then: everything happens the way it’s meant to, I believe in that.
“It’s really sad as well ‘cos when you’re trying and then you find our you’re pregnant, you kind of get that feeling of disbelief like ‘Oh my god, oh my god, I’m pregnant, ah!’
“It’s overwhelming, the feeling of disbelief, and then when you lose the baby, it’s like ‘ugh’.”
Sadly, we know so many women have felt that feeling – more than you’d think – which is why it’s so important to talk openly about.
And Jessica admits the reason she talks about it now is that when she was going through it, she wanted to hear from women who’d been there and who’d come out the other side.
“One thing I felt was that I wanted to know other people were going through it, and that they were OK.”
We’re so glad she’s been able to do the same for others. Also, we’re sending our best for the birth!
P.S. If you need support or want to talk about your own miscarriage – we’d encourage you to visit our anonymous forum thread.
Images: Instagram/Jessica Cunningham