For most of us, becoming a mum usually means a fair few changes, work-wise (sometimes only temporarily), socially, and in many of our close relationships.
Most of us no longer have the time and freedom to do things in the way we did before we had kids – and while many of us accept that, for some, it can be tough.
Singer Louise Redknapp recently revealed she felt she had ‘lost herself’ while being a stay-at-home mum, and is now reigniting her career after getting divorced and leaving the family home.
Addressing the issue of being ‘just’ a mum on Facebook, mother of 4 boys Quinn Kelly, from Texas, got a tonne of positive responses when she shared a recent post called My Highest Calling. Take a look.
Quinn’s post in full
“A friend once looked at me with sweet sincerity and said, ‘You can’t just be a mom. There has to be more to you than that.’
“I smiled back at her knowing what she was trying to say – basically that we have to have other roles outside of being ‘just’ a mom. But in my heart, I felt an internal dissonance toward that statement as she said it.
“Because in my heart of hearts, I know that from the depth of my being I was called to be a mom. And being a mom isn’t a ‘just’ for me. Instead, it just happens to be my highest earthly calling next to my faith and marriage.
“And yes of course, there will always be other parts of me. Other parts of me that I love. Other parts of me that are important. And make me, me.
“I am a daughter. A sister. A therapist and a friend. I am a speaker. A writer. And a thinker. I am a sentiment. A decorator. A leader. And at other times a sit back and follow someone else’s organisation too. I am a music lover. A poet. An organiser and a mover.
“My list could go on and on. Because I am called to many things, I know. But my favourite calling is mom.
“Sometimes society whispers that being a mom is important but not the most important. It screams to women to break past the barriers and show the world what women are meant to be.
“And I can’t help but think that if I accomplished every professional goal I’ve ever set for myself—and I have many dreams in my heart—that when I look back at my children, I will still feel they were IT for me.
“You see, they aren’t just the side dish that I’m making until the main dish comes along. They are the main dish. My favourite dish. And one that adds flavour to every area of my life and heart.
“My children are not just a phase. A fluke. A rite of passage to become old and wise.
“No, they are my favourite and most precious calling. And I will never be ashamed to say that if I had to pick one role in life – I am proud to be “just” a mom.
Mums gave Quinn a big thumbs up for her post – one said: “LOVE this! I remember someone saying to me once: ‘Don’t you feel you lose your identity and [are] only ever known now as someone’s mummy?’.
“I love that I am only known as my son’s mummy as there is no identity more important to me at the moment.
“When he gets older it may change but right now having a two year old is my life!!”
Another said this: “I’m a mom with a job. No matter what, “mom” comes first, I just happen to also have a job.
“Nothing is more important than my girls, nor ever will be. This is probably the most eloquent statement about “Momming” I’ve ever read.”
We have to say – we do think it’s a beautifully written post – and we totally get how being a mum is (obvs) such an important job ❤️
Team MFM can really see where Louise is coming from, too, though: perhaps now her kids are older and don’t rely on her so much, she’s had time to reflect a bit more on other things she wants to do in life as well as being a mum.
What do you think?
Is being a mum everything to you? Or do you think it’s important to take time to do things just for you, away from motherhood?
Do you think your perspective on all this changes as your kids get older? Tell us in the comments below or over on Facebook
Image: Sanctification and Spitup on Facebook