Going through a miscarriage is a truly traumatic experience – so much so, that often those around you aren’t quite sure what to say to help.
Of course, most comments come from a good place – but they don’t always quite hit the mark as a new campaign from The Miscarriage Association reveals.
As part of its #say #dontsay campaign, It asked people to share some of the things people had said to them after a miscarriage that really didn’t make them feel any better – and also asked them to share what they would have found helpful.
And they got loads of responses, like the ones below…
Other things not to say also included:
- What do you think’s wrong with you?
- At least you know you can pregnant
- Time is a healer
- Focus on your other children
- You just need to get over it
But, what should you say? Here are a few ideas:
- That must be tough for you, I’m so sorry
- I’m here for you when you want to talk
- I am angry at the universe for you
- (or a simple) I’m so sorry.
Mums on social media agreed they’d heard plenty of less than helpful comments after miscarriage.
“I had ‘maybe you should be happy with just the one you have’ after I had an ectopic and tube removed,” said one on Facebook.
“Or ‘what did you do’ – got this comment from my best friend and it really hurt me,” said another. (We bet ?)
And quite a few said that, if words failed, a hug would have been just the right thing for them ?
What do you think?
Have you found people struggled with what to say after you had a miscarriage? Maybe you’ve had a friend who’s been through it and weren’t sure what to say yourself?
Tell us your story on Facebook or in the comments below.