Bolton mum’s SUPER sweary rant calls her mates out on their perfect-not-perfect parenting

I never let my kids eat processed foods: "Oh p*** off reach for those Chicken T******g Nuggets, Chips and Beans on a Friday Night like we all do!"


Ok, so there are rants, and then there are R-A-N-T-S. And this one, written by mum Chelsea O’Connor, from Bolton, surely comes in the second, capital letter, shouty OMG-you-can’t-say that-word category ?


WARNING: If you’re sensitive, you might want to skip this feature: the swears are starred out but you’ll probs (def) still be able to guess what she’s saying (and it ain’t pretty).  

Chelsea took to Facebook to call out a few mums on what they said they did with the kids versus what (Chelsea says) actually happened. 

Big disclaimer: We don’t know what’s true and what’s not…. but we simply couldn’t stop ourselves from reading it ?

Here goes… (In Chelsea’s own words – though the *stars* are MFM’s)

“Ya know what Custards!

Don’t tell me what to do!!! Get it removed for pettiness, I’ll just re post it for Sh*ts N Giggles 




“I Never Let my Kids eat processed Foods”

Oh P** off Paula you lying B******! After a week of 3 School Runs a day, plus the ‘I forgot my banana on the stairs Mum!!’ re run before you eventually turn up for Work, looking like something a F*****g Cat Dragged in, you reach for those Chicken T******g Nuggets, Chips and Beans on a Friday Night like we all do!

“My Kids are in bed by 7pm every Night”

Really Susan?? REALLY?? Because my little ****s were swinging from the Curtains like F*****g Spider Monkeys every night last week until 8:30pm when they eventually shut the f**k up and went to sleep. F**k off Susan ya lying t***t and put your Piriton Syringe away ya cheating f**k stick!

“My kids are only allowed their Tablets for 20 Minutes a Day”

Barbara you’re a lying B******! We all tell them to ‘watch a film’ whilst we clean our Sh**t hole houses, then before we know it they’re neck deep and 2 hours into some screaming little t**t on YouTube, watching them play an Xbox game that they F*****g own themselves, but noooooo, its more fun watching some snotty bratty b******d playing it!!

“Mine aren’t allowed treats in between meals, they have Fruit”

“Carole you b**********g Arse Goblin!! I left the room for 5 Minutes last week and this happened 





“A f*** Tonne of Milk! A whole Tray of Biscuits. Both ipads and Massive happy faces!!!

“Like f**k i was taking it off them. I was proud of their teamwork!! They’re children. They should be allowed chicken nuggets for tea every now and then.

“It’s ok if they have a late night here and there, or an ipad game/film for longer than 20 Minutes so we can maybe, just maybe wash our F*****g hair alone without Our Gremlins trashing the bathroom like a pair of Wild Bastard Seals!!

Mums You’re doing just fine! Make the F*****g Nuggets. Utilise the ipads so you can maybe hear the voices in your head again 


Let them knacker themselves out playing TMNT upstairs on the ******g Curtains until they flake out, and let them have a treat, Let them steal the cookies from the cupboard and let them be F*****g proud of it!

With faces like those, i know i am 




For those of you who made it to the end: did you enjoy it? Here at MFM HQ, we have to say, though we found it, perhaps, a bit too sweary at times, we kind of love what Chelsea’s getting at here.

Maybe some of us are tempted to say we don’t do this or we do do that with our kids to make us sound like ‘better’ parents or whatever.

Chances are though, we’re probably not always (ever) perfect – but always doing our best – which is what counts.

Pic: Chelsea O’Connor on Facebook

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