Nothing you hear or read about can quite prepare you for labour, right?


As well as being pretty painful at times, it can be a rather a surreal experience for some of us too.

We say the funniest – and strangest – things that must leave the midwives, doctors and our birthing partners more than a little perplexed.

Here are some classics from our very own mums...

1. "When the doctor told me the membrane was gone, I started singing 'Insane In The Membrane'" - Bernadette

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2. "After my son's head was out but before delivering the rest of him, I told everyone in the room I was now bl***y starving and wanted a Burger King!!" - Helena

3. "Push her back, I'm not ready yet. I'll come back next week!.... " - Claire

4. "I dreamt about football and when I had a contraction I woke up and said to my husband: 'What's the Villa score?'" - Wendy

5. "I got really upset at the ice pack laughing at me. I'll never live it down" - Natalie


6. "Haven't they found a less painful way of doing this by now???!!!! Like, through your nose!!!!" - Fiona

7. "I was convinced I was in the Big Brother house and kept asking my mum and partner why they were there too" - Amy

8. "I told my husband I felt like I was in Las Vegas!! Never been and no idea why I likened labour to Vegas!?" - Leanne

9. 'After one push, I asked if she was out yet" - Sam

10. 'I've heard of people replying "You can do it" from the midwife with "When you B and Q it" - Niamh

11. "After I pushed baby's head out I told the midwife to just pull him out it will be ok: the look I got and the response, "No, YOU need to do this..." - Jemma

12. "The midwife was examining me and whilst being examined she asked me what I could feel??? She went bright red when I replied ''..." - Chrissie

13. "Knock me out, just knock me out, don't tell me it isn't safe, they do it at the dentist!..." - Claire

14. "After I'd given birth I needed stitches. While the nurse was recreating my lower regions I said, "What's taking so long? I can sew a button on a shirt quicker than that" - Lisa


15. "[I remember] being convinced that there was a pound coin stuck to the floor and telling my pick it up" - Sierra

16. "I kept screaming "get me a full fat coke.. I need a full fat coke... And a banana.. I need the potassium" apparently I thought labour was like a hangover" - Jane

17. "I was rambling on about My Little Ponies and telling my other half he smelt just like he did when we first met!" - Natalie

18. "I thought my teeth were running away and that I'd pooped on my partner" - Tanisha

19. "Why is there a cat meowing in the cupboard? It was the epidural drip making noise" - Chlo

20. "Is it a baby?" - Alexandra

21. "I've changed my mind!" - Laura

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Tara BreathnachContent Editor and Social Media Producer

Tara is mum to 1 daughter, Bodhi Rae, and has worked as Content Editor and Social Media Producer at MadeForMums since 2015