With which celebrity parents do you most identify?
a) Jamie & Jules Oliver
b) Gwyneth Paltrow & Chris Martin
c) Sarah & Gordon Brown
d) Brad Pitt & Angelina Jolie
What would the top three items on your baby shower wish list be?
a) Maclaren buggy, Baby Björn sling, nappy wrapper
b) An off-road, three-wheel buggy, organic washable nappies, white cotton all-in-ones
c) Silvercross buggy, night nanny, Gina Ford book
d) Bugaboo buggy, Gucci changing bag, designer leather papoose
What’s your birth plan?
a) First baby in hospital, and the next two or three at home
b) Whale music and home-birth
c) Hospital, gas and air, and glass of bubbly when it’s all over
d) All the drugs going, please!
Picture yourself calling out your child’s name across the park. What happens?
a) Ten children run towards you
b) Everyone turns to stare at you and… hang on, was that a smirk you just saw?
c) Your child answers ‘coming!’ – and so do several fellow parents
d) Everyone in the park gets out their camera phones, thinking a celeb’s been spotted
Where will your first holiday be with your baby?
a) Mark Warner, Club Med… needs to be hot with good childcare facilities
b) Following the Inca trail in Peru
c) Private rental in Jersey
d) Wherever TomKat & Suri/ Brangelina have just come back from
When your kid grows up, what do you see them becoming?
a) Award-winning journalist/TV newsreader
b) Teaching yoga in Thailand
c) Doctor or teacher
d) England football captain/pop star
Now, see how you’ve scored…
Mostly A’s – New modern:
Josh, Jack, Archie, Max, Honey, Daisy, Matilda, Violet
You have taste, you’re sensible and you understand the fact that kids don’t want to stand out – they want to be like their mates. But you also want to be creative and a little original. Fast forward three years, though, and there’s bound to be at least two other children at nursery who have the same creative, original name as yours!
Mostly B’s – Out there:
Apple, Bluebell, Sistine, Tallulah, Pilot, Blue, Moses, Cosimo
You’re too cool for conventional family life. Your kids will sit on your hip as you travel the world (or fashionable clubs and haunts). You want complete originality – after all, your child is unique and you want a name to reflect this. So what if little Fifi Moonstar grows up to be the CEO of a bank? It’ll just add to her fabulous individuality…
Mostly C’s – Super traditional:
George, Edward, Charles, Arthur, Elizabeth, Charlotte, Alexandra
When it comes to names, you want your kids to have a childhood free of mockery and teasing. Sure, they may not be the most original names around, but they’ve withstood the test of time and are like blank canvases onto which your children can project their own wonderful traits and quirks. These types of names are also first choice for families who want to hand down names from one generation to the next.
Mostly D’s – Designer darling:
Paris, Chantelle, Lola, Summer, Preston, Harley, Parker, Chester
You like originality and want a name with a difference, but you’re also seduced by the glamour of celebrity association; so where better to take inspiration than from the pages of celebrity magazines? You want your kids to be ambitious, successful, glamorous and, hell, why not, famous? The downside? Give it 20 years and no-one will be in any doubt as to how old your kids – and therefore you – really are!