How to talk to your child about scary news: expert advice for toddlers through to teens

Sadly though, distressing news is a fact of life and with more access than ever to media on a whole host of platforms, it's practically impossible to stop your child from hearing scary news.

Whether your toddler overhears a conversation you're having about a sad news story with another parent or picks up on something on the radio in the car or your teenager comes across a frightening news article on TikTok, Instagram or a website, it's important to know how to help them process what they've seen or heard.

Every parent will have a different approach - some might want to completely gloss over the bad stuff and make childhood a happy, safe space for as long as possible. Other parents might take the opposite approach and try to educate their children as early as possible.

To find out what's right for a child at each age of their development, we asked the experts for their top tips for speaking to your child about what's on the news.

Create a safe space

"When discussing frightening news stories with kids, it's important to start the conversation from a place of security, so the child feels safe and heard," says Dr. Huriye Atilgan, Neuroscientist and Founder of TAK Index.

"You should avoid including any unnecessary details that might make your child feel anxious and instead focus on reassuring them by highlighting the many good aspects of the world."

“In the wake of traumatic events, children may feel confused, scared or anxious," says Alex Gray, Service Head at Childline. "It’s important that parents and carers are able to offer them reassurance, comfort and kindness – be patient with them and let them know that they aren’t alone.

"It can sometimes be difficult for parents or carers to know what to say to a child, so it is important they know that Childline is a safe space. Through Childline young people can talk through their thoughts and feelings with a professional who is there to listen."

Be honest with them

"I recommend being as honest as possible with them while emphasizing the safety measures in place to ease their fears," says Dr. Atilgan. "Begin by asking open-ended questions to gauge what they already know and how they feel about the situation.

"This helps you correct any misinformation and tailor your approach to their specific concerns."

Cormac Nolan, head of Childline Online agrees: "Having an open conversation with your child, finding out what they already know and talking to them about the news in an age appropriate way is the main piece of advice we’d give when it comes to helping a young person understand distressing news."

Be an active listener

"To help children process and comprehend distressing news, I suggest becoming an active listener," says Dr. Atilgan. "By paying attention to their emotional state, you can validate their feelings and provide context to help them understand the situation.

"I find that visual storytelling aids make it easier for young children to grasp complex topics, so you might want to draw them a picture or do a little puppet show to simplify the situation for them.

"For older children, it may be beneficial to break down the information into manageable pieces, offering reassurance throughout the conversation. Encourage them to express their thoughts and fears, and be prepared to revisit the topic later as they process the information."

"Your child might say they aren't worried," says Cormac, "but you might notice them becoming withdrawn, irritable, or talking and behaving in a way that is out of character. If you think that your child is concerned, a gentle check-in can be helpful."

Use age-appropriate language

When explaining challenging news to kids, it helps to use age-appropriate language that your child will understand.

As Dr. Atilgan explains; "You can avoid boring or overwhelming them by tailoring the discussion to suit their cognitive abilities. Sometimes analogies work better than the actual thing, so try to make your examples as relatable as possible.

"For instance, you might compare a difficult situation to something they've experienced in their own lives, which can make the concept more understandable and less frightening.

"Encouraging them to ask questions and being patient in your responses can also help them feel more in control and comforted during these discussions.

"Finally, it’s crucial to emphasise that it's okay to feel upset or scared and that they can always come to you to talk about their feelings."

"No matter how old your child is, if you are concerned they are worried about something they’ve seen in the news we’d recommend you speak to them so you can explore their concerns and reassure them you are here to support them," says Cormac.

"Ensure you use age-appropriate language and the level of detail you decide to share will also be influenced by the age of your child. It can help to begin by checking in and seeing what they already know before you have that conversation."

Avoid information overload

"Encourage children to take a break from the news," says Cormac. "Seeing the same news and information all the time can feel overwhelming. Turn off notifications and let them do something they enjoy can help them take their mind off what’s happening.

"Remind them not everything they find online will be accurate and it’s not always easy to spot fake news. Let them know news outlets they can trust.

"Finally, encourage them to do something positive. This could be supporting a friend, sharing something good online, or anything else that helps other people. This can help them cope and feel more in control."

Make use of specialist resources

You don't have to go it alone when it comes to explaining scary news to your kids. There are plenty of resources out there and experts who will know exactly what your child needs in each specific situation.

"We’d encourage parents to let their children know there are lots of resources on Childline that can support them," says Cormac. "This includes the Childline calm zone which has a number of activities and tools to help children who are feeling overwhelmed and anxious, including breathing techniques, yoga videos and games."

“Our trained experts at Childline are here 24 hours a day if a child or young person wishes to speak to someone in a confidential and supportive manner," says Alex. "We are available on 0800 11 11 and also online via webchat, which you can access here: www.childline.co.uk. Anyone concerned about the safety of a child can contact the NSPCC Helpline on 0808 800 5000.”

Pics: Getty