This expert-approved bedtime routine will help your child drift off—and stay asleep

Whether you’re settling a newborn or navigating bedtime with a lively toddler, this guide takes you through the key steps to creating a bedtime routine that works for your family.

There isn’t one single routine that works for every child. But Theresa Ross, a sleep therapist and clinical nurse specialist in paediatric sleep services at Evelina London Children's Hospital, tells MadeForMums that good routines are realistic, simple, not rushed, not longer than 40 minutes, easy for other caregivers to follow, and fit into your schedule.

“If it doesn’t feel right for you and your child, you can easily change routines and find something you're comfortable with,” she says.

“Pick a good time to start, with minimal distraction, and implement it for at least one month.”

From gentle pre-bed activities to sleep environment tips, here’s how to build the perfect bedtime ritual, complete with expert-approved tips.

1. Choose the right time

“Use your child’s sleep cues to give you an idea of when they are tired and start your routine 30 mins beforehand,” Theresa says.

These cues can include:

• Rubbing their eyes or ears
• Snuggling into you
• Avoiding stimulating objects
• Becoming fussy or grizzly
• Staring off into space

It’s important to time children’s naps so that they are tired again by bedtime — or else it will be harder for them to settle. A later nap will probably lead to a later bedtime.

“There isn't a one-size-fits-all answer, but many families find that bedtimes between 7:30 p.m. and 9:30 p.m. work well,” shares Theresa.

2. Start with some calming wind-down time

Begin the bedtime routine with some quiet time. Turn off the television and any screens, and avoid bright lights or rowdy play for at least 10 minutes before you start the bedtime process.

This helps your little one transition from the busy activities of the day to a calmer state, ready for sleep.

“Spend some quiet time talking, singing, or reading,” Theresa suggests.

Deborah, a member of the MadeForMums community, allows her toddler to have books in bed. She says: “I put a nightlight in the room and a selection of books and very quiet toys. But if they make lots of noise, I will take them away.”

3. Make bathtime count

Next up is a calm, relaxing bath before bed. It only needs to last five to 10 minutes.

“If possible, don’t return to the family room after bathtime as this may be too stimulating,” Theresa says.

MadeForMums has tried and tested the best bathtime products out there in our Toilet and Bathtime Awards, from toys and accessory to newborn bath supports.

4. Try a massage for babies

“A gentle massage for about five minutes can be relaxing and great for bonding,” recommends Theresa.

“Baby massage can be gentle and soothing. Stroke their skin and, if you like, use oil or camomile gels. Baby foot massage is great too, using circular motions for 10 minutes or so from the tip of their toes to the heel of their foot,” Jo Frost, former host of the TV show Super Nanny, writes for MadeForMums.

5. Put pyjamas on in the right place

“Always put on their nightclothes in their bedroom,” maternity nurse and sleep expert Jo Tantum recommends, because this will create happy associations between your child’s room, pyjamas, and sleep.

If you’re not sure how many layers your baby needs, MadeForMums has a guide on what babies should wear to bed and how that changes with the seasons.

6. Incorporate one last feed/drink

Feeding your baby right before bed can help them sleep for longer periods at night, as they won’t wake up because they are hungry.

“If your baby is still waking for a number of feeds at night, one tip I have is to help them take as much pre-bed milk as possible by feeding before AND after their bath (or bedtime routine),” Chris McFadden, a baby sleep consultant, says. This means they are as full as possible before bedtime.

Theresa says: “If you feed your baby just before bed, they may fall asleep during feeding. If this happens, gently wake them up so they are drowsy but awake when laid down in the cot, helping them learn to self-soothe.”

For toddlers, offer them one last drink of water before getting into bed. “Try to avoid your child eating or drinking anything other than water within an hour of going to bed or after brushing their teeth, to protect their dental health,” Theviya Naveenan, a London-based dentist and former committee member of the British Society of Paediatric Dentistry, tells MadeForMums.

7. Don’t skip storytime

Reading a bedtime story is a great way to soothe your child once they’re in bed.

“My three-year-old is on the go from morning until night. People are amazed by her inability to sit still but the one thing that always stops her in her tracks is a good book. If I offer to read to her, she’ll always climb up on my lap and stay there, book after book, really calming down,” Allison Rebenack, a member of the MadeForMums community, says.

MadeForMums testers tried reading The Rabbit Who Wants to Fall Asleep, a book that claims to help children fall asleep during or just after it is read to them.

We also have a list of the top five books for bedtime.

8. Make one last toilet visit

For older babies and toddlers, make a toilet or potty visit the last thing before bed. This step is especially helpful if you’re working on night-time dryness or stopping bed-wetting.

And it can help to avoid nighttime wakeups for the toilet, too.

9. Make sure goodnight means exactly that

For toddlers, being firm with your “goodnight” can help to signify that it’s time for bed, no discussion.

“Be confident, tell your tot the new routine and avoid engaging in too much conversation about it, as you’re the boss now! Don’t be enticed back into the bedroom and stick to your mantra: ‘It’s sleep time, good night,’” health visitor Annette Maloney says.

“When they do come into your room, pop them back into their own bed without fuss, say ‘goodnight’ and repeat as often as you have to,” she adds.

For younger children and babies, there are different methods for leaving your baby alone to sleep at night, including the Ferber method and the chair method.

Top tips for creating the perfect bedtime routine

• Make sure your child’s sleeping environment is comfy and safe. For babies, keep their bedroom at around 18-19°C and keep toys out of their cot. For older children, help them personalise their bedroom with their favourite cuddly toys, posters, and bedding.
• Keep it consistent — “Babies and toddlers love routine, as they feel safe and secure when they know what happens next. It doesn't matter what the routine is, but it must be the same every night – consistency is the key!” Jo Tantum says.
• If your toddler resists a bedtime routine, offer them choices to help them feel involved while you keep the timing and steps the same. For example, ask them which pyjamas they want to wear, or which story they want to read together.

A simple bedtime routine can help make the process of getting your child into bed easier and more enjoyable for both of you. You might not get it down right away, but don’t be afraid to make tweaks to find out what works for you and your family. There’s no right way to do it — the perfect bedtime routine is one that helps everyone in your family get the rest they need.