Simple ways to avoid being a clingy mum

How to help your toddler along the road to independence

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Simple ways to avoid being a clingy mum

It was tough getting used to being a mum and having a tiny tot needing your attention all day but you did it and now he’s growing into an inquisitive toddler and it’s time to let him have a little freedom – but it can be traumatic giving him the space to face his own trials and triumphs.

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There are some practical things you can do to help you and your child. First you can ask him questions – knowing how he really feels about a situation will help you relax. It may be you that’s anxious about a party or playdate, while your child is simply excited.

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Let him make decisions

Sitting back while he chooses a toy or book will give him a feeling of independence and you might learn a thing or two about his preferences as well.

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Allow mess

Encourage him to paint, use clay or playdough – toddlers need to explore their imaginations with creative play. Join in and get messy too, it’s liberating.

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Be positive

It’s normal for your child to want independence – and not want it at the same time! A child’s reaction to a situation often mirrors his mum’s, so a toddler in a playground with lots of others may be anxious but if he sees mum smiling encouragement he’s far more likely to get stuck in.

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Try not to hover

You’ll find you’re not alone in finding it hard to let go. Ask other mums if they want to get together for a coffee while the kids play together. And try to give them a bit of freedom to interact.

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Learning to let go – part 1, Learning to let go – part 2

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