Simple ways to avoid being a clingy mum

How to help your toddler along the road to independence


Simple ways to avoid being a clingy mum

It was tough getting used to being a mum and having a tiny tot needing your attention all day but you did it and now he’s growing into an inquisitive toddler and it’s time to let him have a little freedom – but it can be traumatic giving him the space to face his own trials and triumphs.


There are some practical things you can do to help you and your child. First you can ask him questions – knowing how he really feels about a situation will help you relax. It may be you that’s anxious about a party or playdate, while your child is simply excited.


Let him make decisions

Sitting back while he chooses a toy or book will give him a feeling of independence and you might learn a thing or two about his preferences as well.


Allow mess

Encourage him to paint, use clay or playdough – toddlers need to explore their imaginations with creative play. Join in and get messy too, it’s liberating.


Be positive

It’s normal for your child to want independence – and not want it at the same time! A child’s reaction to a situation often mirrors his mum’s, so a toddler in a playground with lots of others may be anxious but if he sees mum smiling encouragement he’s far more likely to get stuck in.


Try not to hover

You’ll find you’re not alone in finding it hard to let go. Ask other mums if they want to get together for a coffee while the kids play together. And try to give them a bit of freedom to interact.

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