Q: My son often poos in his pants. His brother used to do this as well. There is nothing medically wrong with either child. I think the reason he does it is laziness (i.e. he’s absorbed in something else when the need arises). Obviously, his father and I are sick of cleaning up the mess. What can I do?
Jo Frost says: You’ve been here before, so you’re ideally placed to deal with it again. You seem like a confident mum who can assess and tackle problems, as you even say it could be due to laziness. Sounds about right to me.
Look for patterns, as this type of behaviour is predictable. You need to get him into a place where he’s going on the loo, rather than just when he wants in his pants. You also need to cut your losses and start again. Say to him when he does it: “We know you can do better, don’t we?” and then say, “What we want to happen is..,” and talk about using the loo.
When he does use the loo, don’t treat it like he’s won the Nobel prize. Say “Well done!” but then move on. This is a life skill, not a talent, and he knows what he should be doing where.