In MadeForMums’ biggest-ever Potty Training Survey, we asked you for your most cringe-worthy potty and poo stories – and boy, did you deliver! These are some of our favourite nuggets of toilet humour.
Location, location, location
Children can (and will!) relieve themselves in the most imaginative of places. “My eldest peed himself in the photo booth in a packed post office, while I was trying to clean him up a lady went in to the photo booth before I could say anything!”
One mum made a point of not letting her potty training son out of her sight at home: “I followed him around with the potty like a hawk for an hour, the second I wasn’t looking he weed straight into the vent of our new surround sound DVD player. Needless to say it did not work any more after that!”
Yes, it’s the adorable ‘over-share’ when our children haven’t yet learnt the need for a verbal filter. “My little one proudly walked to the door with his potty and showed it to the gas man,” said one mum.
“My eldest likes to comment on what type of poo she’s had – she had runny poo and said ‘look mummy I have flat poo!’” Said another mortified mum.
And this little one simply couldn’t contain her excitement: “When my LO first used a public toilet she was so impressed with herself that she had a poo that she told everyone in queue when we came out of the cubicle!”
This clever one knows about keeping hydrated “My daughter became really obsessed with making sure her wee was clear and if it wasn’t she would immediately run to get a drink as she knew that meant she hadn’t drunk enough.
“I endured weeks of her checking the toilet to see if my wee was yellow then commenting very loudly – cue many giggles in public toilets when I was sternly told my wee was too yellow and I needed to drink some water instead of naughty coke or tea.”
One mum couldn’t predict the fright she was about to receive: “I left my son to have some nappy-free time. When I went to put his nappy back on I thought he had trapped his willy in something and cut off the circulation as it was blue! On closer inspection it turns out he’d coloured it in with felt tips!!”
“While training my little boy we always reminded him to make sure his ‘winky’ was tucked into the potty so he didn’t wee on the floor,” says another mum. “His little sister was very curious about the potty and she would come and sit on it once he’d finished. One day she lined her bottom up with the potty, sat down, then proceeded to ‘tuck her winky’ in! Me and my partner nearly fell over laughing!”
Remember those good days of no inhibitions? This mum certainly does: “My little girl wet herself in town and I had forgotten fresh pants, it was a hot day and I let her with no pants but turned round in a shop to see her naked bum in the air in front of a big fan ‘cooling off’ her bot!”
“My son, who is 18 now, used to mark his territory. That included weeing on his dad’s shoulders once,” confesses one mum.
Another mum got a bit more than she bargained for when she asked her partner to quickly fetch her the potty: “He didn’t realise it already had a wee in it, which was then thrown all over me.”
And then there’s the awkward ‘accidents inflicted on friends and family’ problem: “My child pooped in Auntie’s brand new suitcase just as she had finished ironing clothes for a holiday she was about to embark upon.”
Popular destinations for potty training accidents
Accidents will happen outside of the home and, if our mums’ responses were anything to go by, potty trainees will not wait for a convenient place. Here are our favourite five locations for our tolerant mums:
- Display toilets in homeware stores
- On the bus
- At the supermarket