The 39 things your toddler’s REALLY thinking at mealtimes…

Toddlers: contrary little so and sos, aren’t they? One day shepherd's pie is the best food they’ve EVER eaten, the next they’re covering your new curtains in mash as they throw it in the air in disgust


Yep, toddlers give the fiercest restaurant critics a run for their money… here’s our insight into what they’re REALLY thinking when it’s time for a spot of lunch…

  1. I’m not hungry.
  2. OK, I’m a bit hungry but I will only eat pasghetti with my blue spoon.
  3. It’s not pasghetti! I’m going to BAAWWWWWLLLLL!
  4. ‘Mummy I want pasghetti!!!!!!’
  5. I am not going to get pasghetti. This looks like spinach.
  6. I can do spinach.
  7. No. YUK! I CAN’T do spinach!!!! Too yukky. TOO YUKKY Mummy!
  8. Mummy has given me the GREEN spoon.
  9. I want the BLUE spoon! The BLUE spoon mummy!!
  10. Mummy says spinach is good for me. Everything good for me tastes yukky!
  11. What is this? This is curly pasta. Ooh this is quite nice. I will pretend I don’t like it. Oooh but I DO like it! But I will still pretend I don’t.
  12. Hold on a second. What is THIS??? There is a carrot in the curly pasta.
  13. Mummy, I don’t like carrots in my curly pasta!
  14. I am going to throw this carrot.
  15. Prepare to throw. Launch!
  16. Ooh I hit Tibbles. Sorry Tibbles. He doesn’t like carrot either!
  17. Why is Mummy stirring it round?
  18. Too hot, too hot!!
  19. Where is Mummy now? On the phone. Need to get her attention.
  20. Oooh this sauce actually tastes quite nice. NEED attention. Throw on curtains or smear on face?
  21. Smear on face. Mummy!!!!
  22. Oops got attention. This flannel is cold. Mummy!
  23. Pudding. Pudding. PUDDING!
  24. What is this? Mushy sweet rice?
  25. I want ICE CREAM MUMMY!
  26. Must throw major tantrum in 3. 2 .1.
  27. Can’t quite throw myself out of high chair.
  28. Maybe banging spoon extra loud on tray will work.
  29. Yes this has worked. Ice cream Mummy pleeaaassse!!
  30. YES!!!! This is the strawberry one I love!!
  31. Pretend not to love it just for laughs.
  32. Want vanilla Mummy!!
  33. Hmmm no vanilla. This will do.
  34. This is actually pretty yummy delicious.
  35. Quite fun to drip it onto Tibbles’s tail, too.
  36. Oooh and a nice good smear on tray.
  37. And hair.
  38. Lunch was actually quite tasty indeed but I must look like it was not tasty in the slightest bit at all. Growly face.
  39. Yum! I wonder what’s for tea?… 

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