We all know there’s not a relationship out there (in REAL life) that’s not without its occasional disagreements and tiffs, right?
Before you have a baby, it’s probably about whether to go for Indian or Chinese, or if Saturday afternoon’s going to be a Netflix marathon or footie fest.
But, once you have kids, the, er, push points, as we’ll call them, tend to change a little bit. And through our sleep-deprived haze, we tend to argue more about….
1. Who’s getting more sleep
OK, so, this could TOTALLY be number 1 to 10, right? Before you had kids you had no IDEA how much you LOVED a lie-in. But once you’re a parent, getting to sleep in until 8am seems like a once-in-a-lifetime, never-to-be repeated luxury.
And while neither of you has actually printed out a spreadsheet of who’s had more sleep (or maybe you have?), the mental one is right there, front of mind, ALL the time…
2. Where the baby stuff goes
It makes sense to make sure everyone’s on the same page about where the daily essentials (nappy cream, nappies, wet wipes, you know the kind of thing) should be. At all times. Easy?
Well, somehow not. They should all be in the bathroom cabinet to the left, or on the changing table or [insert perfectly logical place of your choosing]; not stuffed randomly on the windowsill/down the sofa/in some cupboard somewhere. How hard can it be?!!!
3. Who’s going out
To be fair, this is probably not such a brand-new-parent tiff trigger, as, a few months into being a parent, you’re both in such a knackered state, you’d happily pass off any night out for being in bed by 9pm.
But how come, on the RARE occasions you both get asked by your (respective) mates to hang out for a total fun night, it ends up being on the same night? You’ll have to toss a coin for this one. Either way, though, it will be early doors. We reckon whoever goes out will be begging for bed by 10pm anyway so best not to bicker too much over this one.
4. Which grandma’s the best
Now, this can really be a sore spot but, just occasionally, there can be a little bit of rivalry between the Nanas, and sometimes we might just find we have a teensy little bias towards our own relative or – whisper it – a get a mite annoyed at how our partner’s mum thinks things should go with baby.
Just remember, chances are everyone’s doing their best, so, two words = deep breath.
5. Which sleep technique to use
It’s totally brilliant that you’ve both read ALL the books about EVERYTHING to do with babies. The only issue now is deciding which one you’re going to try on your little darling.
You are pretty sure you have it sussed with the ABC of sleepiness manual, while your other half read the XYZ one and thinks he has it down. Yep, time for a little discussion… Or try both and see which – if either (sigh) – works. Good luck!
6. How to do bedtime stories
Now, if you do have a partner you can share the bedtime routine with, it really helps, but sometimes, just sometimes, one of us might find ourselves wishing the other didn’t have such a, shall we say, enthusiastic, way of going about it.
It’s just that the sleepy-time story is meant to be quiet and calming, so when you hear laughing and hearty ‘character’ voices and lots of jumping around, you can despair that bedtime’s going to be delayed by quite some time… Can’t they just do it RIGHT?!
7. How much TV your child can watch
Oooh, now this is a touchy subject, right? “The TV is not a babysitter!” We know, we just thought it would be OK to pop them in front of it for half an hour while we vacuumed/put a wash on/rang a mate. Might be best to agree on time limits for this one, and stick to it.
8. Who packed the going-out bag
You’re out and about and your baby has the poonami to end all poonamis. Never mind, your changing bag is always full of nappies and wipes and spare clothes. Except now. Aaaaargh! No nappies, no change of clothes and the wet-wipe packet has only 3 dried-up wipes in it. Someone’s going to be in trouble…