‘Never feel sorry for me,’ pleads mum – after stranger’s remark on how many kids she’s got

Is it time for people to stop commenting on the size of our families - whether we've got 6 kids or one?


“I feel sorry for you, you have your hands full with all those kids.”


It was this comment, from a stranger in US supermarket Walmart, that prompted mum-of-3 Courtney Lester to post on Facebook, letting people know that she’s very happy with her little family.

And, perhaps, giving people a reminder that there’s really no need to comment at all on how many kids someone’s got – however many or few you have.

(Mums with one child, queue eye roll now as you recall the “When’s the next one coming?” question ?)

Here’s Courtney’s post in full

“To the stranger in Walmart who said “I feel sorry for you, you have your hands full with all those kids”, this is what I have to say to you:

“First off, my hands were empty as you can see in the photo (had to point that out) 😉

“What you can’t tell is that I lost 2 babies before being blessed with my last 2, so if you want to feel sorry for me, there’s the only reason why you should.

“My children are blessings. They aren’t perfectly modelled citizens because, well, they’re children. Sometimes they’re loud, sometimes they misbehave, and sometimes they have complete meltdowns.

“However, you didn’t even see that side of them. What you saw was a young couple with a 4-year-old singing a song, a 2-year-old sitting quietly in the buggy, and a newborn sleeping in his baby carrier.

“If that is your definition of having your hands full, I feel sorry for YOU.

“The truth is, I do stay busy. Some days, I can’t wait for bedtime. My children keep me on my toes and one of them always needs something, but I have never viewed them as an inconvenience or a reason for someone to “feel sorry” for me.

“Even on days when they won’t listen, have meltdowns, and when it seems like nothing I do is good enough, I have never felt sorry for myself and I don’t expect others to either.

“If having 3 kids automatically makes my hands full, so be it. But please, never feel sorry for me because my heart is more full than my hands could ever be.”


First off, we have to say, we wonder if this might be a little harsh on that poor stranger in Walmart? More than likely they were just striking up a convo with the best of intentions.

On the other hand, we also get that it can be super annoying when people comment on aspects of your family: How many kids? Why have you only got one? Why the big age gap?

After all, there could be all sorts of reasons behind those things that might actually be quite painful – like the loss of a child or trouble conceiving.

What do you think?

Would you feel put out by this stranger’s comments – or is just friendly chit chat? Tell us in the comments below or over on Facebook

Image: Courtney Lester on Facebook

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