The issue of gender disappointment is quite the hot topic in parenting, and some might say, one of the last taboos. One of our very own MFMers recently shared her story about not seeing herself as ‘mummy’ to a boy.
And in celeb world, mum of 4 boys Danielle Lloyd felt she had to defend comments she’d made saying she wanted to use gender selection to make sure she had a girl if she were to have another child.
And a mum of 6 – first to 5 boys and (eventually) a girl – named Jayne Ford has spoken on live television about how her need for a daughter became so much, she sought counselling to help her deal with it.
Talking about how she felt after the birth of her 5th boy, Jayne said: “I started to think what would my life be like, am I missing out? I’m so lucky to have what I have.
“Because I did talk the ears off all my friends and family, I thought, ‘it’s not fair’. This obsession is in me…
“I decided to seek outside help to talk to people who didn’t mind me talking for an hour about how I felt.”
The family couldn’t afford to go through gender selection (where you can choose the sex of your baby), and it also isn’t available in the UK.
So, instead, she tried natural methods – and for her 6th pregnancy found she was expecting a girl.
Jayne shared that her sons knew she was coming on the show and were happy for her to talk about it: “They gave their permission for me to be here, for me to talk about it initially and they know how I felt.
“They know it was a need in me and nothing to do with them or something failing in them.”
Also speaking on the show was a doctor, who encouraged others to seek counselling if they were going through the same thing.
Viewers weren’t impressed with Jayne’s honesty though, and took to Twitter to share their feelings.
One said: “All women who have had stillborn babies, miscarried, been unable to conceive at all… this is like a huge smack in the face.”
Another wrote: “Discussion over gender disappointment… This makes me so cross… Some women would give anything to even have one healthy… Utterly maddening. Be grateful for what you have!!!”
Then there was this: ‘”Boy or girl it doesn’t matter, all that is important is that your baby is healthy.”
What do you think?
We have to add, again: if you’re struggling with your feelings, popular or not, you should definitely seek out support from professionals, just like Jayne did.
But it is an interesting question… do you get where Jayne’s coming from regarding her desire for a girl? Or do you find it hard to empathise with those who’ve experienced gender disappointment?
Tell us in the comments below or over on Facebook