Here at MFM HQ, when we spotted a Facebook post from Cornwall mum Gylisa Jane (who’s also written about ‘pram snobbery’ and is making a bit of a name for herself as a mummy blogger), having a little bit of a rant about what she saw as how people ‘label’ mums – we weren’t too sure what we thought.
Before we go on, take a look at what Gylisa wrote…
Gylisa’s post in full
“Someone said to me a few days ago, that she hadn’t thought I was the type ‘to be a mum’.
I shrugged it off because if there’s one thing I have learnt about motherhood, it’s that people will say c***y stuff a lot, and they don’t always mean it.
“I can’t have shrugged it off too well, because it’s played on my mind ever since.
“It’s one of those common phrases, we label ‘mother’ and have a stereotype in our heads.
“A ‘mother’ has to live up to a certain standard, and it isn’t just taking care of your own kid…
“Mothers are meant to sacrifice every aspect of themselves, to fulfill their role.
“Mothers aren’t allowed expensive bags, or shopping trips out, or to have a fresh manicure every few weeks.
“Mothers aren’t meant to have tattoos, or coloured hair or piercings.
“Mothers aren’t supposed to have histories of being reckless, feckless or just plain fun.
“Mothers aren’t meant to have had a colourful life of experiences before they bear children, they are expected to forget their identity to raise someone else.
“But how can we raise our children effectively if we haven’t experienced a bit of life beforehand?
“Without navigating my own chequered past how could I possibly hope to guide a new soul through similar times ?
“When we become mothers, it isn’t because we are just dying to wipe someone else’s arse.
“It’s because we want to add to our lives, and watch someone else grow.
“It might be because after everything we have been through, we have finally found some stability – and having a family of our own helps us feel grounded.
“Motherhood isn’t an exclusive club that you can only get into if you look or act the right way.
“It’s full of women that all have lives and tales and colourful histories.
“Women of every type, from every background and every descent.
“Women that swear, women that don’t, women that are real, and women that don’t give a f**k about what you think….
“So I might not fit someone else’s expectations of how I should be, but my daughter reckons I’m doing a pretty good job.”
What we think
Whoa, she definitely made her point there….
Now, we have to admit that Gylisa’s post certainly hit home with plenty of mums.
One fan said: “So true. I’m constantly beating myself up because I’m sometimes not what I think society expects from ‘mums’.”
Another agreed: “This is such a great post. I have often used phrases to suggest I cannot do something or wear something because I’m a mum now.
“Such as I can’t wear the small bikinis in shops because I’m a mum and should cover up. I’m ashamed that society makes me feel that way.”
The team here couldn’t 100% relate to Gylisa’s post, though.
We have a mum here who’s had very pink hair since having her daughter, has tattoos and wears some pretty out-there outfits, and says she rarely, if ever, feels judged for those things.
And we’re pretty sure most of the team had pretty rock’n’roll lives before getting into the parenting lark. They all say they’ve never been made to feel they shouldn’t have done things a certain way before becoming mums… ?
But we could just be a few of the lucky ones – and Gylisa’s point could actually be spot on?
We’re genuinely a bit torn on this one and would love to know what you think! Tell us in the comments below or over on Facebook