Mum-of-3 Jamelia on being a stepmum: ‘At first, I didn’t know if I could do it’
She has 3 daughters, but she’s also part of her husband’s 9-year-old son’s life. Here, she shares her experience of step-motherhood, and how she faced those initial challenges
It’s been a busy couple of years for Jamelia, to say the least!
She’s gone from single mum of 2 to married mum of 3 in just over a year – oh, and she’s become a stepmum, too.
Now, we know fine well that blending families isn’t always easy. It’s always going to be an adjustment. It’s a new environment for you, your partner, and all the kids involved – no matter their ages.
So we’re really pleased that the 38-year-old singer-turned-TV personality (and #MFMA19 judge) has opened up about her experience of becoming stepmother to her hubby's 9-year-old son.
Firstly, she tells MFM it’s “a new experience as a stepmother. Just making that adjustment as a family. When I say it’s all been going on, it’s been going on!” she laughs.
“Inheriting a child that I didn’t give birth to has been a really beautiful and eye-opening experience and yet another indication of what we’re capable of as humans.
“I always said before I met my husband that I’d never go out with anyone who had children.
“I know that makes me highly hypocritical, but I just thought ‘oh no, that would be too messy’. It hasn’t been at all.
“I’m not saying we haven’t had challenges, like…” she started to whisper, “Can I tell him off? Or am I supposed to…?
“At first, I would give him sweets and make myself the fun mum. But actually you have to treat ‘em like you treat the rest of your kids or there’s gonna be a deep imbalance.
Her initial worry, she confesses, was that she wasn’t sure where that maternal love would come from.
After all, she’s got her daughters Teja, 18, Tiani, 13, and 12-month-old True ? – is it possible to love someone else’s child as much?
“I was really worried at first, like: can I love another child like he’s my own? And you absolutely can. You absolutely can.
“You know, we just absolutely love him. Whenever he’s not at the house, it feels strange.
“I’m glad that True was a girl, so it makes him the only boy, so he’s not left out and him and his dad can do the – quote unquote - ‘man stuff’ [they like].”
“In life, you are meant to be challenged and you’re meant to be stretched and that’s how you discover what you’re capable of.
“To love a child [who isn’t your own] – I just genuinely didn’t think it was possible. Now, we’ve got there. I absolutely adore him. It’s great.”
Share your story
If you’re a stepparent, we’d love to hear what you’d share about your own experience. Did you face similar challenges to Jamelia – or maybe you had others?
Let us know in the comments below – and we might feature you in the article!
Images: MadeForMums/Rekha Damhar, Instagram/Jamelia
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