The ‘ugly’ side of birth – mum shares funny, honest thoughts after watching ‘One Born…’

'Out pops a giant head and your a**e feels like it's been set alight before the shoulders finish you off.. '

ugly-side-of-birth_178621

Tell it like it is, girl!

Advertisement

Well this Facebook post made us laugh out loud and nod our heads in much agreement. We’re all so bombarded with beautifully lit and artistically filtered Instagram snaps of box-fresh bubbas and glossy mamas these days, it can be easy to forget the realities, right?

We reckon this mum, Jordan Kennedy, has totally nailed it tho’ with her VERY honest thoughts on labour and birth. And we’re not alone – as it approaches almost 11 and a half thousand shares, it would seem a whole lotta women agree, too. 

Writing after watching One Born Every Minute, hilarious Scotland-based mum Jordan Kennedy wrote this:

“Just watching One Born… and it got me thinking how rotten is it giving birth… it’s some buzz when the baby’s out but seriously being in labour has to be one of the most ugly things ever.

“You start off with your wee clean pj’s and matching slippers.. all smiles even a bit of lip gloss ta keep you in gid spirit..then as the contractions start getting heavy the slippers are chuked across the room..

“Yar hairs scraped back like dog the bounty hunter.. you end up wearing a nappy that could absorb the Dean Park pond.. you try so hard to keep your dignity so your man will still want you despite whats about ta happen but as the hours go on your sucking on the pain relief like a burns mall junkie screaming for someone to just cut your throat and end it all.

“Then it’s time ta push and God forbid you eat anything in the last 8 hours.

“You’re wishing ta god you had just farted in front of your boyfriend coz now he ken’s you fart.. but trying to keep your thoughts away fay the fact you just shat the bed you just take the next available pain relief ta block out the embarrassment.. that [doesn’t] work so you call the dad all the bastands through a voice that’s once been heard in the wrestling ring.

“Out pops a giant head and your a**e feels like it’s been set alight before the shoulders finish you off.. everyones that happy awww the baby.

“Let’s just all pretend he’s no blue and got a big cone head. You forget it all and then just as you relax and take a moment to yarself some dodgy wee midwife that’s no slept in 35 hour tries to set about your vagina with a needle and thread.. it’s a pure magical moment for a woman ?”

Wow!

Of course, we have to say that for lots of mums giving birth is one of the most incredible experiences to go through – but there’s no doubt that, for many of us, it can be messy, sweaty, painful – and feel a little undignified.

The post certainly resonated with mums reading it: “Omg I’m crying it’s so funny!” said one. Another agreed: “Couldn’t put it any better myself ? “

SO funny and SO accurate, right? Anything to add? Let us know in the comments below or on Facebook

Read more:

Advertisement

Comments ()

Please read our Chat guidelines.