Why we totally get actress Alexa PenaVega’s ‘gender disappointment’

The pregnant star admits to feeling ‘crushed’ after finding out her baby’s sex

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Actress Alexa PenaVega has opened up about something many of us experience but don’t really admit to: gender disappointment.

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The 28-year-old star – perhaps best known for her roles in Spy Kids, TV’s Nashville and Dancing With The Stars – is 38 weeks pregnant with her first child, who she shares with her husband, Big Time Rush singer Carlos PenaVega.

And though the couple seem very excited to welcome their son in just a couple of weeks – even selecting his name, Ocean King, prior to his birth – it also appears they weren’t expecting him to be a him.

Before they’d had their scan, both Carlos and Alexa were absolutely convinced they were having a baby girl…. and experienced ‘gender disappointment’ as a result.

Speaking to Fit Pregnancy & Baby magazine in the US, Alexa said:

“We were so convinced that we were having a girl that we picked out a name and called the baby that. Big mistake.

“I’d focused on what I thought was a little girl in my tummy, and when the doctor told us it was a boy, I felt a little crushed, like she just disappeared.”

Some mums on our forum have revealed they’ve felt similar things to Alexa, and we can totally understand why.

You work something up in your head so much, and fall in love with an idea, only to find out things won’t be how you imagined.

Or perhaps you simply always thought you’d have girls or boys, and end up feeling a bit surprised more than anything. 

Gender disappointment tends to involve feeling a bit gutted when your baby’s sex is revealed to be the opposite of your preference, often followed by guilt for feeling that way.

Fortunately, since Alexa found out the news during her pregnancy at her sex-reveal scan and not after the baby was born, she’s had enough time to wrap her head around it before her son arrives.

“Of course, now I’m so in love with my son that I’d feel robbed if it were a girl,” she revealed.

“But I wish I would’ve held off on allowing myself to get attached in the first place.”

Very interesting, indeed! 

Did you have a preference on your baby’s sex – or were you happy either way? Have you ever experienced gender disappointment?

Let us know on Facebook, or if you’d prefer, share your story on the MadeForMums forum

Images: Instagram/Alexa PenaVega

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