I feel guilty about my difficult labour

Q: During pregnancy I ate healthily and did everything to keep my baby safe. But the birth was difficult and I needed a forceps delivery. It was awful, I thought I’d hurt her before her life had begun. Now, when she’s unhappy I worry I’

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Therapist Lesley replies:

It’s no surprise your difficult labour upset you and shook your confidence. However, it sounds to me that you were worried about harming your baby even before the birth.
Perhaps you feel that you’re flawed and constantly have to protect your daughter from being damaged by you. This means that rather than just caring for her, safe in the know-ledge that you’re doing well, you focus on ‘correcting’ things or ‘compensating’.
Think about why you feel like this in the wider picture. It may be that when bad things happen, like your labour, you blame yourself and think it’s because you’re a bad person.
If you carry on feeling worried or depressed contact your GP or the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy (BACP). Visit www.bacp.co.uk to find a therapist near you.

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