Podcast: When to tell family and friends you’re pregnant

Is there a 'right' time to tell family and friends you're having a baby? We hear from mums-to-be about when they revealed they were expecting to family, colleagues and friends...

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Finding out you’re pregnant is so exciting – but when’s the right time to tell loved ones – and work mates – that you’re having a baby?

There is a sort of unwritten ‘rule’ that couples should wait until the 12-week mark has passed before revealing a pregnancy, just because you’re more likely to miscarry before this point. But it’s definitely not a hard and fast rule and if you want to do it sooner you absolutely can.

When we asked our mums on Facebook, in fact, a massive 68% said they didn’t stick to the 12-week rule and shared their news with family before that.

Telling people you’re pregnant before 12 weeks

There’s no doubt that not everyone thinks there’s wisdom in waiting before you tell family and friends you’re pregnant.

Lucy H tells us: “Why would you not tell people [before 12 weeks]? I’d want people to know if something went wrong – we told people at 5 weeks.”

We totally get that – though we  also see how sometimes you might not actually be able to keep your pregnancy secret for as long as you’d like.

For example, Fiona H shared with us how her mum told everyone before she had a chance to. And Helen B tells us how her pesky pregnancy symptoms meant all was revealed at work sooner than she’d hoped, as she’s was running too the loo with nausea so often ?

What if there are issues with your pregnancy?

For some, when to tell people they’re expecting can be complicated by health issues. Louise H was aware she had a risk of pre-eclampsia and knew her sister and mum would be seriously worried about her health if she got pregnant.

And Gemma B was advised there was a possibility her baby was going to be born with a rare condition which meant he or she would not survive more than a few days. In this instance, Gemma spoke very openly with her employer early on in her pregnancy so he knew exactly was was happening.

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Hiding your bump for work reasons

Some people, though, have found they wanted to keep their pregnancy under wraps from certain people for as long as possible – even when sporting a pretty big bump.

Tara B was keen to swap her temporary job for a permanent job in order to secure a mortgage to buy a new house before baby arrived. She says:

“My bump was sizeable but I didn’t want it to show for the job interview, was I deliberately hiding it? Yes. Why? Because I felt I was perfect for the job and was worried that a massive baby bump wold be a huge distraction in the interview room and that I would be instantly discounted for the role.”

When your husband finds out before you

And finally – believe it or not, on very rare occasions, it was dad-to-be rather than the mum-to-be who was the first to find out that a baby was on the way. We kid you not. YouTube star Tim Brummel felt his wife was acting a bit – pregnant – and disabled their toilet so it couldn’t be flushed last thing at night after she’d done a wee.

He then dipped a pregnancy test in – which came out positive – and surprised her with her own pregnancy. Yes – that actually happened ?

Pics: Getty

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This article is sponsored by the Government’s Shared Parental Leave campaign – you can find out more on the dedicated website