Family Life & Relationships <
21/05/2018 at 02:11
right what do you make of this because honestly she’s irritating me no end, partners mother!! Urghh went to her house today with 5 month old, she held him and he started crying i tried to take him back, instead she gave me a dirty look and stood up with him walking him around the room! He did stop crying so I let it pass, she then commented repeatedly on how much of a “big lad“ he is and that he’s getting fat and SHE doesnt want him to get fat as he will he bullied!!! She then told me iv spoiled him and I have nursed him far to much and that’s why he won’t go to anybody and i need to leave him to cry! And apparently he doesn’t get to see anybody that’s why he likes me so much, she does my head in Iv never liked the woman, partner gets mad when I say I’m not happy with what she’s saying and her unwanted opinions and takes his mums side!! And she seems to think Because she’s decided that she will regualy be looking after my son? eerm noo...she wants him to stay at her house, when she lives round the corner! I’m a very protective mum, I don’t want or need anyone to look after my baby, I didnt have a baby to palm him off on others, oh yea and apparently I need to put him in his own room to sleep and not have him in our room in his next to me crib? Who does this woman think she is? She’s decided she’s going to have days with him and him sleep over because her daughter passes her 2 kids off on her pretty much any time she can to go out drinking, she even tries to palm them off on me so yea, thanks to her daughters useless parenting I’m now expected to do the same? Feel like I’m not being heard and my opinion doesn’t matter 😡 and partner isn’t on side half the time so I’m out numbered and feeling forced into doing stuff I don’t want to do! All I ever hear off her is you need to do this, you need to do that! What should I do?
29/05/2018 at 21:37
Firstly remember as the mother of a son one you'll be a MIL. My mum said this to me when I was harsh about my MIL.
Secondly, you are his mother but I'm sure your MIL loves him to bits and it probably upsets her that she cant settle him.
I don't let my kids stay out overnight. Only time Ive been away from my son was to have my daughter but i still use the help of others to give myself a wee break. You do deserve a wee break every now and again but you need to set limits. She'll also give you an easier time if you ask for help. Maybe an hour or two for the hairdressers of a massage.
When she says about the room you can say for the preventation of sids its recommended that baby stays with you for 6 months min. My daughter is 11 months and still in our room.
Its easy to get annoyed but she'll be in your life until she dies so may as well try and build a good relationship if u can. Will make your husband's life easier too.
22/06/2018 at 23:29
Hi Rebecca my mother in law drives me crazy aswell, I recently had my sscond baby and my mother in law kept saying she would be taking my 2 year old when the baby came, I put my foot down and said no because the woman isn’t capable of minding kids.
i have had loads of arguments with my husband about his mother because she is actually so rude, bossy and ignorant. So now I only see her once a week for an hour and believe me that is enough. My husband knows I don’t like her.
Remember this is your baby not hers and don’t let her bully you into taking your son
23/06/2018 at 07:41
this soubds like my MIL when my son was new born and she would hold him and when he would cry I would take him off her I hated her holding him even if he was asleep. one time I took him off her when he was crying and she made a remark and then was slagging me off behind my back saying how I take him off her and thingsand I wasn’t having that me and my OH had many arguments over this and even tho his mum has never been a mum to him he still took her side. Then his brother was having a baby now they don’t really bother with my son at all because my OH brother is their favourite 🙄 ive only ever let my son sleep out once in 14 months and that was at my mums who he adores but I wouldn’t let him sleep at my sisters or anywhere else
23/06/2018 at 10:02
Well the latest is she doesnt want to come round to our house when my partner isnt here! Because apparently I make her feel unwanted...it's not me it's her, she can't socialize and doesn't know how to have a conversation...and she never phones she just turns up so Im probably in the middle of doing something when she turned up..and when she did phone she phoned my partner at work then he rings me to tell me she's coming!!..just pathetic she never had a problem coming round then all the sudden she made up all this ...suits me down to the ground because I don't want to see the miserable draggon anyway...we have also been invited to her friends wedding, I don't know her so I don't want to go, I have never met her lol and the only reason she wants us there is so she can parade my baby around in front of her friends...had an argument with my partner about it all...he's taken his mum's side...might just go but how do I stop people coming up and wanting to hold my son? Or her taking him and walking away and around with him? You see I don't like or trust her and her attitude and me thinking what if based in how she's acted before is giving me anxiety!
23/06/2018 at 12:36
This sounds exactly like my mother in law she told my husband recently that she feels like I don’t trust her with our 2 year old and she said when she calls to us she feels like she is imposing which is a load of crap.
When I went into hospital 5 months ago to have my second baby my mother in law demanded she wanted to mind our 2 year old, she had never minded her before as she wouldn’t help out if my legs fell off. My husband rang me in hospital to say his mother was going minding our daughter for a few hours while he came to see me, I told my husband it wouldn’t work but they went ahead with it anyway and it didnt go well, my mother in law rang my mother after half an hour to help, when my mother arrived my little girl was awful upset and my mother thinks she could have shouted at her or hit her. My daughter was so scared of my mother in law for months after she would cry every she went near her. I wouldn’t trust my mother in law to babysit. when I was in hospital she was texting me saying how disappointed she was that my daughter wouldn’t stay with her, my baby was in neonatal as she was premature so I didn’t need her texting me like that.
She has also made stupid comments how I had my babies the wrong time of year because they had cow‘s calving, I got so annoyed over It and she also said I got married the wrong time of year because of their cow’s calving. am I supposed to put my life on hold because of cows.
She has also said she prefers children with dark hair, my 2 year old has brown hair and my mother in law says this in front of my 2 year old and my 2 year old says I have brown hair, like it’s very unfair to be saying those things in front of a child.
Coukd yout mum babysit the day of the wedding for u for a little while and u coukd go home after the dinner? U shouldn’t have to be pressured into anything
24/06/2018 at 15:09
She sound like a nightmare, as if you are going to work your life around her cows... Obviously you arnt going to trust her if she might have hit your little one! And if she can't be on her own with her without phoning other people for help what's the point in her having her!,... My sons 6 months old but I haven't left him yet I get really anxious about it and my parents don't live close... Get the feeling that iv only been invited so I'd have to bring my son so mother in law can show him off to her mates.. I know exactly how she will be, as soon as we get there she will try taking him and hog him and pass him round her friends and Im not OK with that I don't like her and I don't know her friends lol just think it's strange that we are invited like if one of my friends was getting married I wouldn't invite her? And if I did she wouldn't come lol... Partner wants to go.. Don't know why and has had arguments with me about it.. I should just put my foot down say me and son arnt going and partner can go if he wants? Shouldn't be getting anxious and worried about something I don't even want to do... Hmm xx
24/06/2018 at 21:31
It’s hard not to get anxious and worried I habe been there so I know what it’s like.
if you don’t feel comfortable going to the wedding don’t feel you have to go, could you go to your mothers for the weekend of the wedding and just explain to your partner that bringing a 6 month old baby to a wedding is going to be more trouble than it’s worh and that you would feel more comfortable not bringing your baby to the wedding, if your partner doesn’t agree then just say your not going and if he wants to go on his own he can. If it was me I wouldnt go, a 6 month old baby is too young for a full day of a wedding as they still need their naps and he would probably hate being passed around to strangers and get upset. I know if it was my baby she would hate it and just get cranky so its easier stay home, just explain to your partner that it isn’t going to work taking your baby to the wedding don’t feel pressured by it xx
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