Getting Pregnant <
Trying to conceive
18/08/2017 at 10:28
Just want to ask what you guys all do to try and take your mind off everything when TTC.
Misscarried July currently waiting for my period, thinking it's due Monday. Had 3 faint line positives on early response tests and 2 negatives on normal ones. Now I'm too scared to take an early response in case it's no darker or worse nothing at all, so decided to just wait it out. Feeling bloated, frequent urination, metallic taste yesterday, headaches, fatigue but I get most of this with periods anyway so trying to ignore.
This is only my first month trying after mc but I've put so much pressure on myself I'm a ball of nerves and stress, constantly obsessing over these forums and thinking about testing, convincing myself I am pregnant and then convincing myself I'm not. I'm so worried I'm gonna breakdown if I get my period 😩 How does everyone deal with this?
18/08/2017 at 10:44
Hi jamielee, sorry to hear about your miscarriage. undortjnately anxiety with ttc after a miscarriage is par for the the course... you won't every stop worrying... you'll just learn to manage it & get by until you have your baby in your arms.
I miscarried my first 2 pregnancies. When I got pregnant the 3rd time is was so scared the whole pregnancy. I kept worrying that my body would let my baby down again. At first I worried that the baby would die again (my 2 miscarriages were missed miscarriages we were at 8 & 9 weeks when we found out) & I thought I would stop worrying once I got to 12 weeks but I didn't... so I thought I'd stop worrying once he was 'viable' (24weeks) but that actually made me worry more then because i just wanted him out.. thinking he was safer in an incubator than inside me... I just didn't trust that my body wouldn't kill him!
Anyway... our little rainbow baby did get to come home with us & will be 2 next month... & I must say now that the MC'a have made me have such a strong sense of thankfulness for him that just seeing him every day melts my heart and makes me feel so thankful and blessed because I know how precious it is to be a mum even more so because of what I went through.
Anyway... things that helped manage my anxiety:
1) talking about it!
2) having a fetal Doppler at home. I would get scared most days up until I started feeling him move & so would pop the monitor on to check for his heartbeat. I know the advice from midwives is not to use dopplers as they can make you think everything is ok when it might not be if for example you are picking up your own heartbeat rather than the baby's but I found it very easy to tell the difference. Obviously the baby's heartbeat is much faster... I would find the heartbeat and then feel my own pulse in my beck to make sure the heartbeat on the Doppler was different. That would help calm my nerves a lot. Baby didn't like it though & I could hear him switching around and kicking! 😊.
3) with my third pregnancy I was prescribed progesterone... doctors are divided on whether it helps to prevent miscarriage or not but the thought that it might help certainly helped me!
4) I started buying little bits after my miscarriage and even started cross stitching a big baby quilt. My husband thought I was crazy but it really helped me... it kept me busy & also helped me think positively... that one day I was going to get to bring a baby home.
5) it may not for you / you may not believe... but it did help me to trust in god, to pray every night that my baby would stay strong & that my body would stay strong for him.
6) take things 1 day / 1 stage at a time. Seriously don't look to far ahead... set small goals like getting to the next week marker, getting to scan date then the next scan then movements etc. break it down and just focus on the here and now.
Cant think of anything else off he top of my head.
If you need to talk... we're all here for you!
wishing you a quick and healthy 9 months x
18/08/2017 at 11:06
Thank you, will try all those things out. I'm struggling mainly with not having anyone to talk to, my partner already feels under extreme pressure from me so I've had to stop mentioning it because last thing I want is for him to be too pressured to dtd next month if this doesn't work out this time!
We had a missed miscarriage too, had a dating scan at 6 weeks and all ok, went for a scan at 11 weeks and no heart beat, baby had died a few days after 1st scan. That day was toughest thing I've been through to date 😔 Naturally passed baby 2 weeks later On July 17th.
Doesn't help that both my partners siblings are currently expecting, with his sisters baby due the exact same day ours would have been.
Thanks for for the advice, nice to hear there was a happy ending for you! Fingers crossed for ours xx
23/08/2017 at 11:29
Really sad to hear about your mc. You might be feeling confused about when to conceive again. Every one of five pregnancy ends in mc. Once the mc has completely finished, there is no risk to conceive again. Some people says to wait for three cycles after mc and then conceive. But there is no such medically proven thought. You can conceive any time after your mc and it is safe. Normally you GYN will check your physical fitness after mc and then allowed you for TTC. If you're being TTC'ing, try to cut caffeine to less than 20 milligrams a day, while eliminating it completely is best. Having 3 faint positive lines on early response is good. Hopefully results will be same. Don' take too much stress in this condition. Feel relax and wait for your new little partner.
23/08/2017 at 11:39
@SW2, It's very lovely experience to become mum. I also conceived my first baby after 2 years of marriage. It was a long time for me to wait for her. Every time when I got periods, I feel depressed. Although I had never mc but I can understand how it feels to loss child even if it was in initial weeks of pregnancy. It's like losing your whole world. I agreed with you golden suggestions. Talking with your physical condition with others really helpful to reduce depress and anxiety. Make some busy routine. Thinking about toddler until you started to feel his movement. Collect little things for your new coming little partner. It would be very helpful to come out of stress. Instead of thinking about positive and negative results every week of your TTC , think about how you will take it. It will be a nightmare for you to think about negative pregnancy test.
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