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Miscarriage & pregnancy loss
21/11/2013 at 18:17
I am new to this forum - in fact, this is the first pregnancy forum I have posted on during this whole pregnancy business...
My story is relatively straightforward - I am 43, and have been trying to have a baby since July 2012. In that time, I have been pregnant 3 times, and had 3 early miscarriages. The first was at around 7 weeks, and the second and third were at around 11 weeks - although I am pretty sure that the pregnancies had actually stopped developing earlier, also at around 7 weeks.
I had never tried to get pregnant before, but have used condoms pretty much all of my sexual life, and I always had a sense that, despite the scare stories, I wouldn't have any difficulty getting pregnant, even at 42, and it turns out that I didn't - pregnant after one month of trying for the first pregnancy, and after 3 months for each of the last two.
However, clearly, that is only part of the "battle", and despite my earlier smugness about getting knocked up so easily despite my "advanced maternal age", I haven't been able to hold on to a pregnancy.
During the pregnancies, I found out that I had intramural fibroids, a couple of large ones of between 6 and 8cm, and multiple smaller ones, and I think that, over the course of the pregnancies, they have grown to the point where it was impossible to scan me trans-vaginally, as the fibroids obscured the scans, so all the scans had to be done trans-abdominally.
So - to the point of this post : today, I had my appointment at the recurring miscarriage clinic (they had actually referred me after the second MC, because of my age, but I got pregnant again before we got very far with the investigations - although they did establish that it wasn't sticky blood syndrome, or thyroid issues or anything like that), and the appointment today was all a bit superficial, as they had not yet received the results of the genetic testing of the "product" that I passed during the last MC.
I had expected that there would be some discussion of my age, and also some consideration of the effect of my fibroids, but the focus ended up being entirely on my fibroids, and the decision was taken almost immediately to operate.
I suppose the reason for that is that it the fibroids are the only thing tangible thing they can "fix" but I was still quite surprised that the consultant (who has never met me, let alone examined or scanned me) so readily took the decision to go for surgery, based only on the photo from a scan that was taken in June.
I guess my question is whether anyone has any experience of having had a myomectomy, and whether it has had a positive result?
My issues are a) I had never had any problems from my fibroids, and in fact, I would never have known I had any if I hadn't been pregnant, so I am worried about having possibly unnecessary (and invasive) surgery for no good reason; b) the little that I have read suggests that my type of fibroids (intramural) which do not seem to have caused distortion of the uterus (although they have caused my uterus to be enlarged - about double the size it should have been at the last scan) do not tend to be linked to miscarriage, particularly early mc's, c) it would effectively mean that I cannot try for a baby for another 9 months (operation likely in January, and apparently, I have to wait 6 months after before starting to try again) given my age, I wonder if the possible upside to the operation is worth delaying that amount of time (even though I have got pregnant easily so far, my luck cannot last!)
I'm very sorry for the very long post, but I am feeling a little overwhelmed by the decision I have to make, and any information/suggestions from anyone who has been through this would be helpful.
22/11/2013 at 20:15
Hi Honeyo, not really in a similar situation to yourself, but I didn't want to read & run. Firstly, really sorry for your losses. One mc is hard enough to deal with, more than that is utterly heartbreaking. Can I ask if you are trying for your first child, or whether you have children already?
I have a 4 year old, & have been trying for #2 since Aug 2012. Had my first mc in Jan & had a 2nd in July, both early on.
I haven't had any investigations (they are waiting to see whether I have a 3rd), but just wondering if they have mentioned other possible causes of your mcs? Are they going to wait for your test results to come back before they discuss the option of surgery, or do they seem keen to pursue this route?
The idea of surgery is a tough one. I know noone can tell you how successful your chances are of having a healthy pregnancy one way or another, but it would be nice to hear what other concerns they may have.
Sorry for babbling, I hope I have made some sense! Best wishes, Supa x x
PS Not sure if you have seen this site, but it has a lot of info on it; https://sites.google.com/site/miscarriageresearch/fibroids-and-fertility
25/11/2013 at 21:29
Sorry for the very delayed response, but I hadn't realised that you had replied.
Thank you for so much for the kind words... Although, I will admit, after the first miscarriage, the next two were infinitely less traumatic, and I always feel a bit of a fraud when people are sympathetic and kind to me! The first one nearly wiped me out, the shock (no matter how much I told myself that things might go wrong, I didn't really believe they would!), the physical pain, the sense of loss, the feeling of failure, totally knocked me for six, particularly after I had become pregnant so easily. After my first, I never really "believed" in either of the other pregnancies, I suppose, and I was as prepared as anyone can be for things to go wrong - although I had lots of early scans, they were all inconclusive because of my fibroids, so there was always a bit of an air of doom and gloom hanging over the pregnancies (I didn't even see my doctor during the third, as I was determined not to get into the "system").
Anyway, in answer to your question, no, if it ever happens, this will be my first (and last!) - I am one of those who didn't actually now she wanted to be pregnant until she got pregnant! Also, you don't start to try at 42 without being aware that there might be the odd hiccup on the way, so perhaps that is another reason why I have been so reluctant to believe that my pregnancies might go okay.
As for you - do you mind my asking how old you are? And, where you live?
I only ask because they started investigating me after my second (admittedly, my age was definitely a factor), but also, I just sort of asked if they would, and the nurse in the Early Pregnancy Unit referred me. As it happened, I got pregnant before we got very far along with the investigations - but if you are a little older, perhaps you could kick up a bit of a fuss, or find a sympathetic EPAGU nurse to refer you? (FYI, I have been going to Guys & St Thomas'.
Of course, the frustrating thing about the investigations is that even if they can figure out why you lost one, it might not be the reason you lost the other, but at least you feel as if you are doing something, and taking back a little bit of the control.
Thank you so much for that link, and I really hope things work out for you.
25/11/2013 at 23:35
Yes I must admit after my first I kind of knew the same thing was going to happen again, as I had the same signs. Please don't see yourself as a fraud, you have been though a really awful time. I think sometimes we need to learn to give ourselves a bit of a break - much easier said than done admittedly.
I'm 27, which I know is still young, but kinda took for granted that I fell without trying for my dd, no problems what so ever, then I go and have two mcs in a row. I live in the Midlands. Didn't really feel like I could ask for tests as the consultant told me after the 2nd that I was still young & my mcs were just one of those things, and next time around I'd probably have a healthy pregnancy.
I am glad you managed to get referred, & like you said atleast you feel like you are getting some answers & things are moving in the right direction.
Really hope that link was helpful in some way. There is alot of info on that site, but if it helps in some way to understand your condition & you gain more knowledge about it, it may put your mind at rest or give you a heads up on your options.
Best wishes to you, really hoping you get your healthy baby x x
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