Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
06/06/2012 at 23:07
Hello im 6 weeks + 3 days , and ever since i found out im pregnant , my partnewr has been nothing but distant and arguementative , he doesnt take into consideration im pregnant he just carries on as normal . We had a mc this time last year and i know its hard for him as it is for me but ive had enough . Today we found out my hormone levels are increasing as they should and im having an early scan to see the heartbeat i thought he would be over the moon but he is just in a mood , today he accused me of cheating as i was out of breath from going up and down the stairs several times . He had one child who is 6 and doesnt live with him as the mother cheated on him after the babe was born and took the child away to live with her new partner , but he doesnt understand that im not the same , we have been togerther 2 years . He turned around to me today and said that he wanted a DNA test ! i was gobsmacked and i think i actually cried inside . It makes me angry .
Ive decided to not let him come to the scan and im avoiding him from now on but am i right in doing so ?
My baby isnt even here yet and its already planning to be pricked and probed just to prove that he is the dad .
what should i do ?
Please help !!!! xxx
07/06/2012 at 08:06
07/06/2012 at 08:52
my oh doesnt have issues with previous partner cheating, however he too became distant and grumpy after the reality of my pregnancy kicked in (one we'd both planned for). one night he went to his mates house and didnt come back for 2 days over something stupid. I still feel angry at the way i was treated; at my most vulnerable time i never knew if my oh really wanted the baby. he always told me it was my hormones which made me so angry - it wasnt.
I can tell you though that since we've had LO it has all melted away - he adores him. I think he was just immature and scared tbh - no excuse i know.
I think you need to say to him how sad and vulnerable you are - this is the biggest time of your life emotionally, physically - in every sense and to be accused of cheated putely because of his past - which you cant control - is devastating for you, and your relationship. He needs to grow up! DNA tests are not safe prior to both - you're hardly going to risk miscarriage to have an amnio! say this to him and hopefully he will realise how selfish he's being.
Dont ban him from the scan - i know you're angry but his relationship with his child needs building on, it might be the bonding moment he needs. Big hugs and please let us know what happens.
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