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01/08/2014 at 11:27
01/08/2014 at 11:44
Wow! Just wow! I don't think I'd be as offended if the poem was actually a good one!!! Since when did you have a baby and then expect friends and family to provide everything?! I hope the friends told her where to stick it!
I have never seen this! Like you I would be rather taken aback! I can't imagine anything ruder! I don't know what's worse, to the people who didn't attend or the ones that didn't get the 'right' gift!!
Not sure if I'm in the minority here but I didn't even considered nor have I ever been to a baby shower. We've been for lunch with girls leaving work and given them presents and gift cards etc but I mean with someone's friends and family.
Also I would never give someone money as a baby gift (with the exception of collections at my work but we always buy pressies or give gift vouchers. Likewise I wouldn't tell people what to get us and from where, that woman can't possibly have any friends left!!
01/08/2014 at 12:29
Hello! I've normally only posted on the TTC board but saw this and had to comment. I was recently invited to a baby shower that was being hosted in a hotel function room, in the invite was a little bit of paper telling us that our presence was all she wanted but if we wanted to get gifts please could we buy vouchers for Sainburys Boots or Mamas and Papas, or cash!! I wish I'd taken a picture of it now, I didn't go to the baby shower though.
I've also been emailed a list of things the parents to be were in need of before a baby shower so we can get them things from that list.
Miss Dee Dee I do think they are an odd concept, I always think back to the tradition that it was unlucky to buy too much before baby was born, but here people are inviting gifts and celebrating before baby's arrival. When I have gone to one I've always bought a gift for the mum to be, or something like a picture frame. I buy a gift for the baby when it arrives.
01/08/2014 at 12:55
I'm not a huge fan of baby showers, I don't think I will want one but I assume friends/family might do one anyway, as its a first baby. But I think its grabby and rude to request particular presents.
I know of people who have told individuals what they would like when asked, but never a gift list or poem type situation!
01/08/2014 at 12:57
I wouldn't have gone either!! So forgive my ignorance but are they for the mum? A bit like a hen night?
I would always buy for the baby once it was born too. I know how many kind and thoughtful gifts we got when O was born and I would have been freaking out of we had all that before he was here and safe and sound. Obviously we had bought all our baby stuff (pram/furniture etc) but that's different I think!
01/08/2014 at 13:15
That's bad. I was invited to a baby shower last year and in the invite was a list of items wanted and website links to them. We also got told by the sister to tell her what we had bought so others didn't get it to and not to buy clothes in Newborn and only certain things in 0-3 months as they had bits already! I had one for k that my mum and sister organised, but the idea was it was for friends and family to get together before baby arrived. I didn't ask for presents and didn't expect them but some did get us bits for the baby. Not having one this time.
01/08/2014 at 13:26
It's a very American thing, isn't it. I've never had a baby shower, and don't really see the point. I have had a meet the baby open house a few weeks after my babies were born, and people kindly bought gifts even though they didn't need to. I saw on the Kiddicare website that they do a baby gift list, which is a very weddingy thing to do.
01/08/2014 at 13:28
That's shocking! I've never been to a baby shower so wouldn't know what to expect but would definitely be offended if I got that! For any family/friends who've had babies, I've always got a gift when the baby arrived (we consider it unlucky to give it before baby is here) and then one at the christening/naming ceremony. If I *had* to get one for a shower as well would be a bit much.
02/08/2014 at 08:01
That is the worst thing ever!!!! I would be so offended if I got either of those poems.
I never planned on a baby shower (I didn't even have a hen do) but my closest friends got together and organised a surprise get together for me. They called it a baby shower for lack of better phrasing but it was just the five of us and we went for afternoon tea at the hotel where my wedding reception was. They'd organised games and a little goodie bag of sweeties but that was it. It was more like a little treat for me and them to spend time together before S arrived than a party. It was the single lovliest thing they've ever done for me and I loved every minute but I would never have deliberately organised anything and never expected it at all. They didn't get me any gifts and I certainly didn't expect any.
I actually found it a little strange getting gifts from work when I went on mat leave as it was five weeks before I had S and I'm a little superstitious about things like that.
02/08/2014 at 21:14
My work wanted to do me a baby shower, Iv nipped the suggestion in the bud, said I don't mind cakes on my last day but couldn't imagine having a baby shower.
02/08/2014 at 21:19
I won't be having one either. I really don't like the thought of it to be honest. I find it difficult receiving gifts at the best of times!
02/08/2014 at 22:42
03/08/2014 at 23:46
The poem is horrendous!
However, I'm always on the flip side when it comes to gift giving at weddings/births etc.
Culturally, we give cash gifts at celebrations. The bride and groom don't have to ask for them as it's an unspoken thing that happens so no poems involved! The same applies at the birth of a baby. As time has progressed, it's turned to gift giving after the baby is born but my older aunties and uncles and more traditional family members still give cash. I do this too when babies are born in my family.
I do agree that asking for specific things is quite rude....as are lists but this is mainly because I'm quite lazy and dint want to have to go and seek out this requested item. It also takes the fun out of gift giving!
04/08/2014 at 08:08
Wow, this is horrendous. I have to say DS when I saw the title I thought you were asking for advice on a baby shower poem and thought it sounded most unlike you!
04/08/2014 at 08:39
Gosh, those are horrific. I'm not a fan of poems asking for money generally, but they're some of the worst I've ever seen! I'd be slightly surprised if I received a baby shower invite with a gift list, but I wouldn't be offended, and actually it's nice to know that a gift is wanted, so a list makes that easier. I suspect they'll become more culturally normal as time passes in the way wedding lists are pretty standard now. I didn't have a baby shower, and would definitely not have included a gift list if I had though!
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