Pregnancy & Birth Clubs <
23/09/2013 at 08:23
So having found out very very early we are expecting twins, we have gone through the scared, super excited and disbelief stage and are now starting on the practical oh my god we are unsure of what to expect, what we need? and are we actually ever going to manage.
Am 13 + 6 and the twins are fraternal and our first babies, pregnancy so far hasn't been the easiest ride with sickness, and discovering i already have high blood pressure.
We have already made the big purchase of a new house as short of stacking the babies in boxes we were really going to struggle with space.
So all you lovely people out there help, what pearls of wisdom do you have that may help? what did you buy you couldn't manage without? what did you buy that you never used? and anything else...
23/09/2013 at 09:03
Congratulations! I have no idea as although I have two babies, they were born 18m apart. One of my NCT buddies has fraternal twins (boys) and the only thing that I noticed her doing differently to me or our friends was that she established a routine very early on, but she had to to stay organised. I do also know that she was always just Another Level Of Tired. Her twins were quite high needs though as they weren't very well when they were born.
Ok so that's not overwhelmingly positive, but I do know that her boys are now in a good routine, they are totally in love with each other and you would never know that they had been so poorly. For her it's definitely double the fun!
23/09/2013 at 09:36
one of our best friends had triplets last year, i will ask her if she has any tips, i also have three people i know who have had or are having twins! im surrounded by multiples !!!
23/09/2013 at 09:44
We were part of a group that had 3 sets of twins and a set of triplets. the mums were always more organised and better turned out than me! From what I remember about the practical side of things Internet food shopping seemed to be a big help as taking the babies out and finding space to park then carry the babies to find a shopping trolley for multiples was hard work for them.
23/09/2013 at 13:09
My friend had twins, she had a tandem pushchair to begin with but as the babies got older (6 mths plus) they wanted to see each other and she hated that the one in the back coukdnt see much. So she changed her pram very early on and said she wished she'd gone for a side by side from the start. She bought a big playmat gym thing that the two of them could happily use together. Have you looked at tamba (I think that's what they are called), if you are members you get discounts on stuff I think?
23/09/2013 at 14:22
1. Accept help. I am very much a "No, I am fine" whilst struggling type of person. Now I have twins I do accept help
2. Join a multiples group. Google twins clubs in your area or go on TAMBA's website to see. Twins aren't just twice the work of one, its more than that. Parents of singletons just don't get it (no offence to all the lovely singleton mums on here!)
3. Consider joining TAMBA, apart from anything else they have great discounts!
4. I breastfed for 6 weeks which is exactly what I wanted to do. Whichever method of feeding your babies you choose, and it is YOUR choice, don't feel pressured by anyone else.
5. Be prepared to be stopped everywhere and anywhere and be asked inane and quite often highly personal questions by complete strangers. Are they twins? Are they identical? Are you feeding them yourself? Were they natural? Did you have a c section? Ooh double trouble etc etc
6. You don't always need two of everything
7. Shop around for a double buggy. Try them all out! My buggy is the only side by side I found at the time that fits through any door, its been a lifesaver!
8. Rest, rest, rest, rest, rest as much as you can in your pregnancy
My twins are the best things that ever happened to me
23/09/2013 at 14:55
Thank you so much everyone,
Having no children, it is really difficult to imagine the logistics of having a baby let alone two, so some lovely bits of advise.
We had looked at the TAMBA website and wondered whether it was worth joining so really useful to know it is.
Out of interest, if you don't mind me asking heartnurse what buggy did you have? H has been researching as he is adamant we want a side by side as he is concerned the one underneath or behind in a tandem will feel left out. He reckons the Mountain buggy duet is the way forward, not had a proper look yet but wondered if you had an opinion?
Also again if you don't mind, did your babies sleep together? and if so till what sort of age?
Thanks again everyone and no doubt at all i will be back with more questions and needing help and hand holding.
23/09/2013 at 15:06
I only have one but definitely try out the buggies and make sure that it can go through the doors of the shops you use as some of them are wider than others. A friend of mine bought one for her twins but didn't check that it would fit a buggy board so - as her older daughter was only 2 - she often had to push three children on the buggy - two babies and the two year old perched on the front.
Check out your local NCT group for sales of second hand goods/clothing. You can pick up sleep suits and the like really cheaply that way.
I suspect that HN is right - those of us who don't have multiples don't really get it. So support groups must be a huge help.
23/09/2013 at 17:41
I don't have twins but had a double pram. Can highly recommend the Out and About Nipper double. I'm buying the single now as I love the double so much.
My SIL has twins and had them topping and tailing in the Moses basket when tiny and now in the same cot as the seem to settle better when close to each other.
23/09/2013 at 18:06
I have a Mountain Buggy Duet, best buggy I have ever owned! If you do go and buy one you can have my car seat adaptors for it! The Maxi Cosi car seats can go on it. It is the narrowest side by side and is really easy to push and manouvre, even when holding the hand of one of my older children with the other child on the buggy board
My girls slept in the same cot at the hospital and then the same moses basket side by side, then top to tail when they couldn't fit side by side, then into moses baskets by themselves. They went into individual cots at 6 months (the moses baskets lasted that long!!)
Feel free to add me on fb (if you are in the fb group you can find me) to ask more questions
23/09/2013 at 20:45
First, congratulations! Twins are fun despite the chaos! Mine are now nearly 16 months and are whirlwinds. So funny to have two little people with such similarities and differences to bring up at the same time.
Here are my tips:
- surrender any plans for particular birth. Getting you and two babies through the birth is the most important thing.
- be easy on yourself in the last trimester. I read that by 28 weeks you are the size of someone with a singleton full term bump. That in itself is exhausting. Take every opportunity to rest, accept help and don't sweat about working till the bitter end.
- for us, routine has been our saviour. We did gina ford for our twins from the day they came home from hospital (they were born at 38+5 and were home within less than 24 hours so we were all well). We followed the routines loosely for a guide to timings but weren't slaves to the detail. Organisation has kept us sane and has paid dividends.
- if formula feeding make up batches of six bottles (or however many you can fit in your steriliser) at a time and cool ones you don't need immediately and pop in fridge. Not having a bottle on hand when needed when trying to juggle two of them is not fun!
- buggy needs to be big enough to fit them in but not too big you can't fit through doors/ aisles in shops. We had the mountain buggy duet originally and have just swapped to a phil and teds. If you go for a mountain buggy duet note that the phil and teds cocoons fit in the "shelves" so you do not need to buy the expensive carrycots.
- the logistics of getting out and about are hard work. Eg - you can't carry two babies around to the change room - they need to be put back in the buggy and wheeled there. I found it difficult to tandem feed them both anywhere other than a sofa (and they screamed bloody murder if they were the one that didn't get fed first!) so had to plan trips into town around that. Things like hv weigh in clinic are much harder with twins so either take extra hands to help or make the hv come to you.
- as HN said, accept help. For feeding, to allow some one on one time, to have a sleep etc.
- you have to be practical. Forums (including this one) are full of mums saying they could never leave their child to cry. As a twin mum that makes you feel like cr*p. You can't single handedly comfort two babies at once - you have to go for the one that needs you most at that particular time. Doesn't make you a bad mum - just one who doesn't have four arms!! Yes, it can be stressful but the good days make the bad ones seem like distant memories! A partner that is willing to split the care and night duties is also imperative in my opinion!
- best buys - good play gym. Somewhere safe to put them both upstairs and downstairs. We had bouncy chairs downstairs and then would put them in their cots upstairs. They shared a cot bed to start with but we split them pretty early on into their own cot beds (in their own room) because they kept hitting each other! Other than that don't go over board on stuff - two of everything quickly mounts up both cost wise and space wise!!!
I hope that doesn't sound too negative - as I said my coping mechanism was to be ordered and well planned. It is very hard work but very rewarding. There is nothing quite like having twins (or triplets!) to make you realise how easy just having one baby at a time is (no offence to singleton mums - I too thought my eldest singleton was hard but twins is just something else). The feeling of accomplishment is huge. And, as they get bigger, they entertain each other! Happy days!
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