My husband has never done anything for his mother on Mother’s Day and so it follows that he didn’t see the point of doing anything for me on Mother’s Day either. I beg to differ.
When my first Mother’s Day passed without a card, gift or even a word of acknowledgment, I put it down to confusion over the date (my husband is Danish) and I made a “joke” to my husband that I was a bit put out. But in May, when Danish Mother’s Day came and went with similar results, I blew a fuse. Went into full-on emotional rant and rage mode. Sat and sobbed and snottily tried to explain how I felt.
It bothered me. It bothered me a lot! It bothered me because I do so much for my boys and it matters to me that they recognise that. Now of course I love my sons and would do anything for them. I’m no martyr. I don’t expect thanks (well sometimes I do) but I hope that my children see and appreciate the effort that I make for them.
Until they are of an age where they can initiate this themselves, I absolutely expect my husband to take the lead and explain to my sons why, at least once a year on Mothering Sunday, they should celebrate their mother (me) and take the time to acknowledge the hard work that goes into being their mum. If my husband doesn’t want to do this for his own mum, I think it’s a bit sad but that’s his business. However, I want my sons raised to be aware of the important role a mother plays in their lives and that Mother’s Day is a day worth celebrating, when mums get to feel special and receive some extra attention.
These days anyone can one-click-order a bunch of flowers or chocolates. It requires relatively little effort. For me, Mother’s Day is not about the gifts although I wouldn’t say no. Making a card or a small present or preparing breakfast… just a simple gesture is all I’m after.*
It harks back to the old adage, “It’s the thought that counts.” Taking the time to make or prepare something provides my kids with an annual opportunity to reflect on what I do for them beyond the humdrum chores of day-to-day life. And as they’re only 5 and 7, they’ll most probably need a few pointers in the right direction from their dad.
I want my boys to notice what I do beyond the washing, cooking, bathing and other practical stuff. I am the woman who nurtures and guides them, plays with them, is there to give them a cuddle when they are sad, sick or hurt, checks on them when they’re asleep to make sure their duvet hasn’t fallen off.
Motherhood is the most important job I have. It’s also the role that has simultaneously been the most rewarding and the most challenging. It’s probably the thing I’ve consistently made the most effort doing in my entire life. The one job where I’ve never skived off or taken a sickie, and where I’ve gone way beyond the call of duty countless times. It’s the thing I’m most passionate about, most proud of, and strive constantly to be better at. And for that, is it too much to ask that once a year I get given my very own gold star from my kids?
*If my husband or sons are reading this, any shop-bought presents will be gladly received. Mummy was just making a point.